Super Bowl Stones, Embarrassing Falls, Baby Brain, and Sausage Feet

Oops, I lied!  A few more pregnancy unpleasantries...

SUPER BOWL STONES  Somewhere around the middle of my pregnancy, I was on my way to a Super Bowl party...  My husband and I had taken separate cars, since he'd be leaving for a night shift (in the winter, he groomed at a local ski hill at night) afterwards, and I'd be going home to bed, but we had stopped at a Shoppers Drug Mart so he could get supplies for the boy-standard "pool" he wanted to run at the party.  He went into the store and I waited in my vehicle.  Everything was fine.  Until suddenly everything was absolutely NOT fine, and I was doubled over in pain over the steering wheel!  Out of nowhere, I had the most excruciating pain in my back on the middle-right side.  I screamed, the pain was so intense.  Panic overtook me and I blindly staggered out of the car, unsure of my next move, but sure something was terribly wrong with me.  I wanted to puke because of the pain.  I bent down on the sidewalk outside the store, but there were people out there and I was embarrassed.  I wasn't sure whether to call out to the to get help or to hide - so I hid.  I climbed into the back seat of my car and proceded to rock back and forth on my hands and knees, just like you see severely mentally handicapped people doing sometimes on TV, banging my head against the passenger side door, desperate for relief and sure something was about to rip through my body at any time.  I dont' even think I can convey the intensity with words, but suffice it to say it was MORE intense and painful than labour!  My husband found me like that and tried to move me, but I must have growled or lashed out or indicated in some other animalistic way that he would be killed if he touched me.  And then, just like that, it was over!  No pain, totally fine (but still really freaked out because of what had just gone on)!  I ended up driving myself home, tentatively, afraid the red-hot poker that had threatened to burn its way out of my abdomen moments before would return - and it did - but not until I was safely in my bed.  That time, it was shorter in duration and less scary, just because I had some amount of confidence it would pass.  I called my midwife, who told me it didn't sound like anything baby-related, and was likely either a gall stone or kidney stone attack, as the two can often have similar symptoms.  She said they were generally confirmed by CT scan, but that could be harmful to the baby due to radiation...so just to wait it out and hope it didn't return!  To this day, I have no idea which one, if either, of those conditions I was afflicted by!  But I live in fear of its return, because it was absolutely terrible.  Apparently, both are more common during pregnancy because of increased hormone levels.  Damn hormones!  They are responsible for a whole lotta bad.  And they ruined Super Bowl.

FALLING!  At first, I just thought I was getting clumsy, tripping when going upstairs and that sort of thing.  It was as though I'd go to take a step...except my legs didn't move!  It didn't happen that often, but often enough that I noticed the increase, and when I fell at school (during a fire drill, outside, in front of the entire staff and student body - not embarrassing at all :s), everyone noticed!  My body weight shifted forward to walk back into the school, but my legs didn't move to support it, and I fell FLAT on my face - seriously; I didn't even put my hands out to break my fall - I couldn't!  I ended up with an abrasion on my collar bone, cuts on my hands, and a suspected fracture at the base of my thumb (deep in the palm) and across my patella (suspected because I refused x-rays to since I was pregnant, so they couldn't be confirmed), and a very bruised ego.  Another time, I was chatting with a neighbour on her lawn, and my dog started to assume the position to take a crap on the adjoining neighbour's lawn (one I was not so popular with), so I lunged to grab him to pull him away...but once again, my legs did not move with me, and I landed right on my big, pregnant belly, and right NEXT to the poo!  Tres embarrassing.  And concerning!  Both times sent me to the walk-in clinic to have them check my baby's heart rate, just to be safe.  This condition came and went with my pregnancy, but a few months later, a cousin contacted me about a condition my aunt had just been diagnosed with: Myotonia Congenita.  Basically, it's a genetic condition with symptoms not limited to, but including the inability or delayed ability for a muscle to relax after a voluntary contraction.  No one thought much of it before my aunt was diagnosed, but once we began to think about it, several of us cousins had suffered similar symptoms at some point in our lives - mine just seemed exacerbated by pregnancy.  I haven't undergone the testing to confirm that I have this condition (though I plan to, because it is genetic, so my son could likely have it, and because, though not life-threatening on its own, it can cause complications with certain anaesthesias), and I haven't been able to find any research supporting my theory that it was dragged out of hiding as a result of pregnancy-related hormones or anything, but I still believe there is a link.

BABY BRAIN  You hear about this, and I'm pretty sure every pregnant woman experiences Baby Brain to some extent.  I'm not going to get all medical (I'm tired from my Myotonia Congenita research) on you and discuss the real reasons behind it; I'm simply going to say that I have a BA in English, have post-grad certification, and pride myself (okay, that might be an exaggeration) on life-long learning...and while pregnant, I was unable to beat a 5 year old and a 3 year old at a game of Memory.  I actually tried strategy: I told myself I'd just memorize the 3 cards directly in front of me, which should dramatically increase my chances - but I couldn't!  I tried cheating: the edges of the cards were scalloped, and I tried to see which ones would fit together because matches had been cut out next to one another - still nothin'!  Oh, the shame of it all...

SAUSAGE FEET  I was pretty lucky, and even though I gained more than the recommended 25 pounds (Psh!  Does ANYONE ever gain only that much?  I gained 37-42), I carried it well, mostly in the belly, and didn't look pregnant from the back.  Until the last month or so!  At which point, I started retaining water and had the most swollen feet ever!  It also affected me in the face and arms, but the feet were definitely the most noticeable - I couldn't wear normal shoes!  I had to buy a pair of the ugliest Crocs in the world, and wear them everywhere, including with a dress to the high school graduation ceremony :s  I got addicted to their hideous comfort, though, and still wear them, I'm ashamed to admit...but now there is a 3/4 inch gap between the strap and the top of my foot, whereas then, even they'd leave a nasty imprint in my swollen flesh.  So fat!  After a few weeks, it became known that this was due to high blood pressure, which can lead to pregnancy-induced hypertension, preeclampsia, and toxemia, and was the reason I needed to be induced at the end.

So...tell me your best (worst) Baby Brain moment!