Fisting. And Midwives. And Indian Rug Burns.

One of the first considerations a pregnant woman has to give is to whether she'd prefer the care of her family doctor, an obstetrician, or a midwife.  My only baby-having experience had been with horses, which sounds strange, but I had witnessed and assisted several equine births (and conceptions, but that is anther story, and totally unrelated), and sort of figured, if they can do it, so can I - so the natural approach appealed to me, and I was (am) also a devotee of homeopathy and naturopathy...but I'm not a Birkenstock-wearing, armpit hair-growing, hippie-type either - I have fake boobs, for God's sake!  But a very materialistic friend of mine (teehee - we'll see if she reads my blog now - she'll know I'm talking about her :)) had used a midwife for her second baby (not with her first), and highly recommended it.  Like me, she had a bad fall while pregnant, and her midwife had gone to meet her at Emergency and stayed with her while she waited, because she was frightened and upset.  That sounded above and beyond, and I knew I wouldn't get that kind of care from my GP (not that she wouldn't want to! I just know her schedule and commitment to other patients would never allow it.)

If you do choose a midwife, the first thing you have to do is call to see if they are accepting patients with your due date.  They only take on a certain number at that time, because they assign you a primary midwife and a secondary midwife, so that they can guarantee you that one of them will be at your birth.  Luckily, Burlington and Area Midwives was able to take me.  I went for a consultation, and was quickly won over by them.  I will admit, the fact that the midwife who was to be my primary was young, cute, and "normal" looking helped a lot!  But so did learning that midwifery services were covered for Canadians, that I didn't have to have a home birth (that was never a consideration for me - hospital all the way!), and that I could still have an epidural if I wanted.  They see you at the same frequency as a doctor would, and send you for the same tests and ultrasounds.  But they also do a home visit, to familiarize themselves with your home, should you choose a home birth, should you have one by accident, and for after-care - because they do your post-natal care in your home after you have the baby - a definite perk!  You alternate between your primary and secondary midwife each visit that you have, so that you are equally familiar with both.  And you get to call/page them at anytime, if you have any concerns (I called them the Super Bowl Stones night :s) - which is very reassuring.

As it happened, my primary midwife had her own baby early, and wasn't there for my birth, but my secondary was, and she was great.  A third midwife attended my birth as an assistant, so I still had totally dedicated care.  If you have a doctor for your prenatal care, they make every effort to attend your birth, but very often it just doesn't happen.  It's the nurses at the hospital who care for you throughout your labour - right up until the push!  Dont' get me wrong: the nurses are great!  But I liked knowing someone I knew, and who was familiar with my birthing plan, was going to be there with me.

Here's another thing about midwives. I'm not sure if this will be a selling point, though...  They fist you.  Yep.  Exactly how you're thinking.  It's called a "stretch and sweep", but that doesn't really convey it's true nature.  Once you are past 36 weeks, they offer you this service, which is supposed to stimulate your cervix, and help prepare it and encourage labour to begin naturally.  I have mentioned the desperation of the very-pregnant woman to get that baby out...so this is appealing!  But it is anything but.

Basically, the midwife shoves their fist up there and "massages" your cervix - except I'd never had a massage that made me bleed before.  And I'd never had a massage that made me grip the table, sweat, and cry before.  But now I've had two!  And neither worked!  However, I have friends who have endured them, as well, and who went into labour that night.  If it works, it's worth it.  If it doesn't...oh man...:s

Midwives also talk to you about "perineal massage", which is supposed to reduce the likelihood of needing an episiotomy, or the severity of tearing.  Of your vag.  So this is important!  They essentially tell you to get your "partner" (I use quotation marks because you should at this point see how un-partner-like my partner was) to massage your perineum (in guys, the area commonly known as the "taint" - t'ain't your ass and t'ain't your balls) with olive oil - but so hard it feels like an Indian Rug Burn!  You want me to do that WHERE??  Needless to say, my "partner" did not do this, and I couldn't bring myself to inflict that kind of pain on my nether regions - if it was even possible - sounds to me like self perineal massage at 36 weeks pregnant might involve some contortionistic abilities.  The new and sealed bottle of olive oil (extra virgin - hehe - get it?) didn't go to waste, though...they ask you to take it to the hospital, where my midwife did use it on me, but sadly, to no avail: I required TWO episiotomies out the back and I tore up the front! :o

What is my point?  Not sure...take it for what you will.  Some people swear by the stretch and sweep, and others have had better success with the perineal massage, too.  I do still strongly recommend midwives, though :)

What are your thoughts?  Have you/will you use a midwife or a doctor?  Experience with fisting - ahem: the stretch and sweep - or perineal massage, or any other such practices?