WARNING: This post is long and detailed, and probably only interesting to new or soon-to-be mommis - sorry! Can't be funny and awesome ALL the time :P
Last Wednesday (okay, this has taken me 3 weeks to write, so it's not longer last Wednesday, but whatever), I went for a midwife appointment at 10am. I knew I was scheduled for a stretch and sweep, but didn't think much of it, because I'd had two with my first child, and they didn't budge him. I was expecting a painful, yet uneventful fisting, followed by another 2+ weeks of waiting. But this time was different. My cervix hadn't dilated any further than it had been at 37 weeks (3cms), but with the "stretch" portion of my manual delight, my midwife could get it to 5cms. There was also a lot of bloody show (is that not THE nastiest term ever??), and I was shocked when she told me she expected me to go into labour that day or the next, at the latest.
WHAT?? Wasn't expecting that. So, I started semi-hysterical giggling to ward off the nervous tears I felt coming. She suggested I go home and drink Castor Oil, and be in labour in 2 hours. The idea behind Castor Oil is that it irritates your intestines, causing cramping, which in turn stimulates your uterus to start cramping, too. But you know what happens when Castor Oil DOESN'T work? You get explosive diarrhoea and no baby. No thanks! I also vetoed her next suggestion of going home and pulling really hard on my nipples :s They had been crazy-sore already, to the point where an accidental brush from my shirt made me gasp, so that one was out, too. She said I could go pick up the breast pump I was renting and use that to stimulate whatever hormone was the goal of this exercise, and I would have done that, except a friend had the accessories I needed to actually utilize said breast pump, so that wouldn't be happening either. Her last suggestion to get labour going was simply to go for a long walk, and try to be upright as much as possible to let gravity do its thing. That, I could do. Off I went, with her promise to check in on my progress shortly.
Poor Justin... He had been working nights that week, so came off his shift at 6:30am, and then went off to do a side job before coming home to bed. He got my BBM just as he was falling asleep:
I want you to keep sleeping, but...I think I'm maybe in labour! Midwife says we'll have a baby today or tomorrow. Will take a while, though, so get some sleep :)
Perhaps not so shockingly, he was unable to sleep after that, and started furiously packing the last few items in our hospital bag and rushing around like a maniac. He was not to get any sleep for about 36 hours. Oh, and did I mention it was his birthday? :D Not anymore, though - his will evermore be eclipsed by that of our baby :P He called me right after he got my message, and I started crying then. Contractions were starting as I drove home, although far apart and mild.
My midwife had advised me to keep drinking water, so I wouldn't need IV fluids later, so I did - but not very successfully, because the contractions made me have to pee about every 2 minutes. I got Justin calmed down enough to go for a walk with me, but the need to pee didn't let me keep that up very long, so I spent most of my time swaying back and forth, holding my kitchen island instead of walking. It was weird: I wasn't entirely convinced I was in labour because the contractions were so bearable, so I was reluctant to tell anyone it was happening, in case I turned out to be the girl who cried wolf.
My midwife called to check on me and I told her the same. She seemed to really want me to have this baby (she was off on the weekend), so told me she would come to my house an perform stretch and sweeps every hour until things were really going! She told me to prepare a few things for a home birth, which totally freaked me out, but I did it anyway. When she got here, she checked my cervix again, but it was still at 5cms. She has some weird homeopathic thingies for me to put under my tongue every 15 minutes, and they were delicious and actually worked! Contractions increased to a trackable frequency and undeniable intensity. After a few more hours, my cervix was still at 5cms, but I was getting really paranoid about not making it to the hospital, so we decided we would go and she would break my water there.
The car ride wasn't that bad. I had been really nervous about that, because when I had my first child, I went to the hospital before I was in labour, so never experienced it. I was sure contractions in the car would be unbearable, but they weren't - in fact, they seemed to almost go away :s I was uncomfortable, but we got checked in and everything without me making a scene.
We chose McMaster Children's Hospital for the delivery, and the delivery room was very nice. They has apparently lost my preregistration package, which was a it concerning, but my midwife was able to get everything in order reasonably quickly. I think I had blood drawn, ut the amnesia is already setting in and I'm not so sure now...I think so, though, because I'm pretty sure you need it before having an epidural, and while I wasn't sure I wanted one yet, I knew that if I did, I didn't want any unnecessary delays! The delivery room has a shower stall in it, but I opted not to go that route (in the interest of maintaining decent hair?), and just paced the room and continued my swaying, now holding the edge of the bed.
Here's Accidental Supermommi's Labour Secret #1: Eat. My personal choice of labour food is frozen green grapes and strawberry quarters, also frozen. Why frozen? I don't know. I originally got the frozen grapes idea from Posh Spice, who cited them as a diet secret, but I really liked them and being frozen makes them stay colder longer and more refreshing - things you will want, trust me. The addition of strawberries was mainly because they are delicious, ut they are also seedy and fibrous, and you want fibre for later (the first post-baby poo!). Anyhow, I ate this mix during my first laour and liked it, so I had it with me for this one, too.
Speaking of post-baby poo, ASM's Labour Secret #2 is: Poo! If you're like me, your stomach will get all nervous and help you out with this. Yes, pooping is gross and you wish we weren't even talking about it. But it's important because, if you go ahead of time, you're less likely to do it on the tale when you get to pushing! Much grosser, no? This technique worked the first time around...this time...not so much :s Yes, I pooed on the table :$ But it wasn't that embarrassing. My midwife knew I was concerned about it, so was very discrete. She handled it and waited until Justin had gone to the bathroom, then whispered, "You had a little bowel movement, but I've wrapped it up in the paper, and if any more comes out, we'll just push it under the pad (she meant the disposable absorbent pads they put under you anyway)" - our little secret. But as much as I had been worried about it beforehand, I could have cared less at the time.
Back to my story... My contractions were about 2 minutes apart, and I was in quite a bit of pain during them now. ASM's Labour Secret #3: Count. They tell you to bring a focus object with you for laour, to focus on when you're in pain, and to bring soothing music or whatever. Eff that. My friend Tara told me she looked at the clock so she'd know when the contraction was going to be over. My first time around, I didn't have a visible clock, so I just counted. Even better, I learned, is to have your partner count out loud for you. Contractions are generally 60-90 seconds in duration, so you can estimate when they're about the recede, and I found that helpful: knowing that relief was in sight. I also had to modify the clock thing to the counting thing because my coping mechanism is to close my eyes and block everyone out. This is particularly effective (and necessary) if your baby daddi and his mother are both in the room with you, and decide it is appropriate to enjoy a meal, while you suffer, and have been cut off of food. Please read that with an appropriate level of sarcasm and dryness.
Yes, that happened. I had been eating happily, but the baby's heart rate was alarmingly high, and the midwife had had to call in an obstetrician to consult, and she was talking c-section :s I desperately wanted to avoid a c-section, but the baby's heartrate is supposed to be between 110 and 160, and his was an alarming 213 at times! :o Worse, time after time they checked my cervix, I was not progressing. Why the eff did it hurt so much then??? The pain was awful. I had wanted to maybe see about a natural birth, and might have been ale to endure it had there been any sort of encouraging progress...but there was not: still 5cms! The midwife had attempted to break my water, but it wouldn't give! When the obstetrician came in, she gave it a go, and managed it - ut at the sacrifice of my poor baby's scalp! :( We didnt' know until he was out, of course, ut he had several scratches on the top of his head from the crochet-hook-like thing they use to break your water :( :( Anyhow, because even that hadn't helped, and the baby's heart rate was a concern, they wanted me prepared for a c-section if the little guy didn't come out soon. For that reason, I was no longer allowed to eat, and I was STARVING - hence my rage at the others eating in the room. As part of my blocking them out, however, and dealing with the pain, I was also unable to speak or express my "concern" (for their lives. If I'd been able to move). Moving on...
Because of the obstetrician's desire to perform a c-section, she advised me to have an epidural so the shunt or whatever would already be in place. I needed no further encouragement - EPIDURAL NOW. Unfortunately, epidurals take time. They first have to wait until an anaesthesiologist is available, and she comes in and very annoyingly goes over details with you (I tried ignoring her, ut she insisted I had to reply and consent - I also tried telling her I'd already heard all of her spiel from my first birth experience and consented already, but she insisted I hear it again - bitch (but I took that back once I actually got some relief, at which point she was my favourite person in the world)). THEN you still can't have it - you have to have IV fluids first, which takes more time. As soon as I had the IV fluids, the baby's heart rate stabilized, so they think I may have just been dehydrated, but there was no turning back at that point: I still needed that epidural!
A lot of mommis are afraid of the epidural, because it is such a huge needle that goes into your spine. But seriously, when you're already in that much pain, you really don't even feel it. They give you a test dose first, and if all goes well, you get the real deal, which is a continuous-flow. There's supposed to be a button so you can boost your own dosage when things are bad, but of course, my button was broken! It still gave me some satisfaction to hammer away at it, though. About 20 minutes after they stuck the needle in my back, I felt significant relief. I remember feeling almost total relief with my first child, but I was still in pain this time around :s But it was reduced enough that I opened my eyes and started reconnecting with the world.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, but was really only 4.5 hours since they broke my water, it was Push Time. I think it only took about 10-20 minutes to get the baby out. Even with an epidural, you still experience "The Ring of Fire", as your perineum stretches to baby head-size. Here is a difference between this laour and my first: because my first's heart rate was so low, they needed him out ASAP, so there was no NOT pushing. What there was was tearing and cutting - in 3 different places :s - because there wasn't time to allow my body to adjust. With this baby, we could take our time, so the midwife had my STOP pushing when the head crowned, and again when his shoulders were at the gate. The end result was 2 small tears: one at the front, towards my clitoris (yeah - OUCH), which did not require stitches; and the other at the back (if I were a guy, it would be on the taint), which needed 3 measly sutures. A note about stitches: don't worry about getting them. I mean, hope to not require any...but if you do, don't worry about the actual needle and thread (or whatever) going through your flesh - you won't feel that either, after the trauma you've been through, and the distraction of your newborn child on your belly. The damage done to my lady parts may seem significant to some readers, but compared to the hot mess my first one left me in, this was nothing. I healed pretty quickly, and did not become infected like I did the first time either :s
Also, because I had an epidural, I did need a urinary catheter, but this midwife did things differently than my first. The first put one in and left it until an hour or so after delivery, and I suffered some pee issues for almost a year afterwards, due to damage to my urethra. This one inserted the catheter twice, but removed it after I had "peed" (or rather, when she saw urine in the bag). Like the stitches, worry about damage from a catheter, but don't worry about the actual insertion of said catheter: I really didn't feel it any of the times. Also, like a train wreck or a pimple you can't resist, it was cool to see my pee fill the bag, without any other indication that I was going :P
Anyhow, then you have a baby! You still have to deliver the placenta, which is disgusting, but not painful. But by disgusting, I mean "it feels like a massive, gooey blob flopping out of your vagina" - so really, really disgusting. Yes, you have an adorable little guy (or girl) on your belly, and you're marvelling over the adorabilty and wondering who he'll be, and so on...but you'll still feel the flop, and be momentarily grossed out.
Way more to come, but I'm tired, because ASHTON FRANCIS (weighing 8lbs 7oz at birth, born May 9, 2012 at 9:26pm) keeps me up...A LOT. But he's beautiful and perfect and I love him like crazy :D :D :D So, give me a bit ;) Oh, important to note: his daddi cried - just a little bit, but enough to satisfy me - it was perfect <3
