Okay, I lied. Before I can move on to post-baby sex, there are a few other obstacles to tackle :s
First of all, I think I speak for most women out there when I say that sex is about the last thing on your mind after you've just passed a watermelon out of your lady parts. And yet...you hear about Irish Twins, or other euphemisms for babies born in rapid succession. Those babies got made somehow...so, apparently not everyone shares my feelings. Personally, though, I wouldn't even consider having sex for at least a month (more like three!) after child birth - and it's not medically-advised, either. Since it's kind of a gaping wound down there (sorry :s), sex too soon can cause air to enter the blood stream, leading to an embolism!
But even if you wanted to get busy, there are roadblocks. Like stitches. Mine got infected. Hey - it's a kind of bacteria-ridden environment down there! You can't wipe, you dab to wash...things happen. And the things that happen to make those other things unhappen aren't so sweet either. My midwives "prescribed" an amazing cocktail of herbs for me to boil, add to bathwater, and soak my business in for 5 consecutive days. It worked wonders and cleared up all the infection...but it smelled like caesar salad...so I smelled like caesar salad (or puke, as my then-husband so lovingly put it). And alright, he's an insensitive jerk; but I can't say caesar salad makes me particularly aroused either (although some might argue that garlic is an aphrodisiac...NO.)
Then there's the crying. You go through so many hormonal changes after birth, tears are par for the course! I'd cry when I looked at my baby. I'd cry if someone made me dinner. I'd cry for any happy, sad, or "other" reason possible. Tears are not sexy.
I also cried when my milk came in. Picture me naked in the bathroom (okay, not literally, ya pervs!): I've just had a shower (maybe my first since coming home from the hospital :s, probably after the "you smell like puke" comment), water is dripping from my hair, milk is leaking from my boobs, tears are gushing from my eyes - everything is wet and miserable (not to mention the milk thing HURTS)...NOT SEXY.
I'm not even going to get into sleep deprivation here (it will get its own post - in fact, this blog may soon become entirely dedicated to sleep deprivation and all things sleep-related), but if there's an opportunity to sleep or have sex...I'm sleeping! No question. At that point, anyhow.
If you experience post partum depression, that will also do nothing to help with the sexy times - but again, that's another post.
But maybe a few months in...a few glasses of wine in (to steel the nerves - hey! - letting something in there is a SCARY proposition!)...you might be up for the first post-baby sex.
And THAT leads up to my next post, "Hot Dogs and Hallways", or the truth about post-baby sex.
Monday 30 May 2011
Blog Blogged Down
This is a crappy, boring post, but I wanted to let any readers know that I have not abandoned the blog, nor have I lost my enthusiasm for it! I haven't made a new post because of work getting in the way (so annoying :P), having no Internet access at home, and errors with Blogger. This is also why I haven't responded to any recent comments! I love comments :) - and will reply to all - as soon as Google fixes the problem all Bloggers are experiencing right now that is preventing me from doing so. And just to keep you from forgetting about me...my next post is entitled "Hot Dogs and Hallways", and is about post-baby sex!
Still love you! Absence makes the heart grow fonder??
Still love you! Absence makes the heart grow fonder??
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Go the F**k to Sleep
Man, I wish I had written this book! Now that I've actually had the baby (in blog-time, I mean), many of my posts will be devoted to the woes of sleep deprivation, and "Go the F**k to Sleep", by Adam Mansbach, sounds like it captures the spirit of my anguish and desperation just perfectly! I say "sounds like" because I haven't actually read it; it isn't being released until June 14, 2011 (on Amazon, anyway - the article I'm about to link to says October 11, but maybe that was its anticipated release date for last year? I dunno, but check out the link below to get a little taste of the book.
Note: If the title didn't tip you off (come on: we know it's wrong, but who DOESN'T find it slightly hilarious and adorable when their toddler drops an F-bomb?), this is a book for Mommies (and Daddies, and Aunties, and anyone who has suffered through ongoing failed bedtime attempts), not for the kiddies!
I just pre-ordered four copies from Amazon, and I think you should, too :D Wait - maybe you shouldn't, because three of my four are intended as gifts for sleep-deprived or sleep-frustrated friends ;)
http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/04/26/6534646-want-another-bedtime-story-sweetie-heres-one-go-the-fk-to-sleep
On another note, I also ordered the following Board Books for Avery, on the recommendation of a friend (I'm soooo sick of reading the same few every single day!!! But glad he finally likes reading (well, me reading) - he was late in developing the patience to sit through a book, when there are so many more exciting things to do (running, biting, wrecking stuff, endangering one's life...).
Mommy's Best Kisses
Duck in the Truck ($1 right now on Amazon!!)
The Gruffalo
The Mixed Up Chameleon
Hippos Go Berserk
Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs
Snuggle Puppy
Goodnight Moon
Where's Spot
Just Go to Bed
Little Blue Truck
What books do you love for your babies? And do you go the Board Book route, or the cheaper, but more destructible, paperback format?
Note: If the title didn't tip you off (come on: we know it's wrong, but who DOESN'T find it slightly hilarious and adorable when their toddler drops an F-bomb?), this is a book for Mommies (and Daddies, and Aunties, and anyone who has suffered through ongoing failed bedtime attempts), not for the kiddies!
I just pre-ordered four copies from Amazon, and I think you should, too :D Wait - maybe you shouldn't, because three of my four are intended as gifts for sleep-deprived or sleep-frustrated friends ;)
http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/04/26/6534646-want-another-bedtime-story-sweetie-heres-one-go-the-fk-to-sleep
On another note, I also ordered the following Board Books for Avery, on the recommendation of a friend (I'm soooo sick of reading the same few every single day!!! But glad he finally likes reading (well, me reading) - he was late in developing the patience to sit through a book, when there are so many more exciting things to do (running, biting, wrecking stuff, endangering one's life...).
Mommy's Best Kisses
Duck in the Truck ($1 right now on Amazon!!)
The Gruffalo
The Mixed Up Chameleon
Hippos Go Berserk
Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs
Snuggle Puppy
Goodnight Moon
Where's Spot
Just Go to Bed
Little Blue Truck
What books do you love for your babies? And do you go the Board Book route, or the cheaper, but more destructible, paperback format?
Monday 16 May 2011
Belly Dancing
This one comes out of order, but I forgot about a couple clips I wanted to share! My general stance is that I'm not going to post photos or videos of myself or Avery...but these ones don't show face or identifiable details, so I think we're okay ;)
Mommies experience the exciting first flutter of baby movement at varying points in their pregnancies, but it is always exciting, and also reassuring, because you know for sure something's in there, and it feels healthy :) I had a hard time letting others feel the baby kicking, because I'd burst into laughter anytime anyone put their hand on me - nervous reaction or something, I don't know. But later in my pregnancy, I was able to do some party tricks, like putting a Cheeto on my belly and having the baby kick it off :D Gawd, I was popular... :P
This first video just shows some general moving around (and me, looking absolutely massive at 34 weeks) - this is the cute kind every mommi likes:
And THIS ONE shows the cool, but slightly terrifying, and kind of painful kind :s Avery was head-up until about 35 weeks, and I took this video right after he did his somersault - which, by the way, was excruciating! I seriously felt like he might break my ribs while he did it. But here he is, head down, shifting his butt from side to side, trying to get comfortable, I guess. Wait for it...
Aww, even though it hurt, my belly feels a bit hollow and longing as I watch these :)
Mommies experience the exciting first flutter of baby movement at varying points in their pregnancies, but it is always exciting, and also reassuring, because you know for sure something's in there, and it feels healthy :) I had a hard time letting others feel the baby kicking, because I'd burst into laughter anytime anyone put their hand on me - nervous reaction or something, I don't know. But later in my pregnancy, I was able to do some party tricks, like putting a Cheeto on my belly and having the baby kick it off :D Gawd, I was popular... :P
This first video just shows some general moving around (and me, looking absolutely massive at 34 weeks) - this is the cute kind every mommi likes:
And THIS ONE shows the cool, but slightly terrifying, and kind of painful kind :s Avery was head-up until about 35 weeks, and I took this video right after he did his somersault - which, by the way, was excruciating! I seriously felt like he might break my ribs while he did it. But here he is, head down, shifting his butt from side to side, trying to get comfortable, I guess. Wait for it...
Aww, even though it hurt, my belly feels a bit hollow and longing as I watch these :)
Cartoon Vaginas
So, you had a baby! What the eff now??
After the initial elation and hubbub of holding, admiring, feeding, etcetera your new baby subsides a bit, reality returns, bringing with it day-to-day annoyances...like having to pee.
If you had an epidural, you likely also had a catheter. I was led to believe that this was not optional, but a friend has since told me she had an epidural and NOT a catheter! The idea is that the pressure of labour can squeeze off your pee exit (may not be the technical medical term), and your bladder could therefore burst - enter catheter, so you don't have to worry about that. But if it's not too late for you, heed this advice: pee often and pee early in labour; refuse catheter. I'll tell you why later...
They let you keep the catheter in for some time after labour, but eventually they come and remove it. I didn't experience any discomfort to speak of with either insertion or removal. But once it's out, you will inevitably have to pee - at some point, anyway - and the First Pee is almost as scary as its counterpart, First Poo. I called a nurse to my room because I still had an IV pole and wasn't sure if I was allowed to pee, or how to maneuver to the bathroom with my entourage of medical accessories anyway. A male nurse came to assist me :s I'm all for equal opportunity, and don't even insist on a female gynecologist - but when it comes to bodily functions, I still believe that women should maintain an element of mystery to the opposite sex, so was not thrilled to have the male nurse follow me to the bathroom and wait outside the open door (I couldn't fit my IV pole in there, so it had to stay outside and I couldn't close the door all the way).
Anyhow, I eased myself down onto the toilet seat and suddenly heard someone peeing - but it wasn't me, was it? I mean, I had barely gotten seated, much less given my body the release signal! I didn't feel myself peeing...so I looked down, and was both shocked and horrified by what i saw! It was a cartoon vagina! Almost unrecognizable because it was so swollen, puffy, oddly-coloured, and misshapen, but if you've ever watched animated porn...um...nevermind :s And wait a minute: why was it out IN FRONT of me?? That's not where I last left it! But there it was, and it was mine.
But that wasn't even the worst part of the whole First Pee experience. Since my visual reconnaissance mission to determine if the peer I heard was actually me failed (due to the cartoon vagina obstruction), I then needed to actually stand up and look int the toilet to see if there was pee. But realization 1: I wasn't looking at a toilet bowl; someone had put a white plastic basin in there! And in that basin, I hadn't been peeing; I had been bleeding to death!!!
Knock, knock. Male nurse (he's still there??): "Were you able to urinate?" (are we seriously going to talk about this??) Me: "Umm...I don't know...I'm bleeding...a lot..." He comes in, LOOKS in my basin (OMG :s): "Yep, good job." Alriiiight...he didn't seem concerned about my excessive blood loss, and while I might not have been dying from that, I was definitely dying of shame, so I waddled my cartoon vagina back to my bed.
This was the first of many alarming peeing experiences. After that first pee, the nurses armed me with a squirt bottle so that I could shoot my vag with water while I peed, 1. to dilute the pee so it didn't burn my stitched up war wounds, and 2. to clean myself, since wiping when you have stitches down there is a no-go. But I came to love that bottle. It was several days before my body actually waited for me to give the okay before releasing pee - but I guess I should consider myself lucky, because I was always at least just barely on the seat; I never had any leakage or more serious incontinence issues. But it was over a year before the urgency and frequency with which I had to pee returned somewhat to normal. And this is why I caution you against the catheter: I went to my doctor about my peeing issues, certain I had some sort of infection because needing to pee 12 times a day and throughout the night couldn't be normal, could it? And she told me that that's common damage after having a catheter. No one told me! So I am telling you.
Most of your modesty will have been shredded by now, what by people watching your vagina self-destruct, and listening to you pee (oh, did I mention that, in addition to not being able to feel oneself pee, you also have no warning if you're going to...flatulate, either? - the real windy kind...)...but just in case you had any left, nurses (sometimes male) will come periodically throughout your stay in the hospital to check your stitches, change your hospital-issued panties (a.k.a. diapers), and more of those absorbent pads they will lay beneath you in your bed. That's right: you're tired, sweaty, bloody, and just generally disgusting, and someone will come and ask you to spread your legs! Oh, the horror...oh, the shame...
You know what? I was going to save pooping for another post, but really, after the initial horror that is the reality of your vaginal status is addressed, there's not a lot more to say...so I'll just cover it now. I don't think a lot of non-mommies knew to fear the first pee, but most can imagine the terror of the first poo, no? You're sore, you're swollen, you just passed a human being out of your body...granted, that came out a different hole, but still - the hole region is in turmoil. Add to that, prenatal vitamins and any drugs you may have had intravenously administered to you during your labour can have a constipatory effect...which means you're gonna have to PUSH - again - and it's going to hurt.
So here is what little advice I can offer you:
As I mentioned earlier, I ate frozen berries during labour. Berries = fibre! If your labour people really won't let you eat during labour, then start immediately after, and choose fibre-rich foods to make the whole process a bit "softer". Nurses may offer you a stool softener after labour, which is a good option if you're not into the whole natural-approach thing.
Next, have your trusty squirt bottle ready, with warm water in it (remember, you won't really want to wipe that much...:s But also have a cloth, soaked with warm water, that you will use to apply counter pressure. Hold it against your lady parts and stitches. This works in several ways: 1. it protects the, from anything that might be on its way out (I know, I know: this has been a particularly gross post with all this poop talk :s), 2. the warmth is soothing, 3. the counter pressure reduces your chanced of popping a stitch! Then squirt, squirt, dab, dab...you get the idea.
Vaginas, cartoon or otherwise, are a complex species, and I have more to say...but I don't want to overwhelm anyone (Stacey? Crystal? Are you reading this?), so I'll save that for another day ;) Plus, I actually have something kind of cute to post in addition to this, so I'll stop here.
Did YOU have a cartoon vagina? Please share :P
After the initial elation and hubbub of holding, admiring, feeding, etcetera your new baby subsides a bit, reality returns, bringing with it day-to-day annoyances...like having to pee.
If you had an epidural, you likely also had a catheter. I was led to believe that this was not optional, but a friend has since told me she had an epidural and NOT a catheter! The idea is that the pressure of labour can squeeze off your pee exit (may not be the technical medical term), and your bladder could therefore burst - enter catheter, so you don't have to worry about that. But if it's not too late for you, heed this advice: pee often and pee early in labour; refuse catheter. I'll tell you why later...
They let you keep the catheter in for some time after labour, but eventually they come and remove it. I didn't experience any discomfort to speak of with either insertion or removal. But once it's out, you will inevitably have to pee - at some point, anyway - and the First Pee is almost as scary as its counterpart, First Poo. I called a nurse to my room because I still had an IV pole and wasn't sure if I was allowed to pee, or how to maneuver to the bathroom with my entourage of medical accessories anyway. A male nurse came to assist me :s I'm all for equal opportunity, and don't even insist on a female gynecologist - but when it comes to bodily functions, I still believe that women should maintain an element of mystery to the opposite sex, so was not thrilled to have the male nurse follow me to the bathroom and wait outside the open door (I couldn't fit my IV pole in there, so it had to stay outside and I couldn't close the door all the way).
Anyhow, I eased myself down onto the toilet seat and suddenly heard someone peeing - but it wasn't me, was it? I mean, I had barely gotten seated, much less given my body the release signal! I didn't feel myself peeing...so I looked down, and was both shocked and horrified by what i saw! It was a cartoon vagina! Almost unrecognizable because it was so swollen, puffy, oddly-coloured, and misshapen, but if you've ever watched animated porn...um...nevermind :s And wait a minute: why was it out IN FRONT of me?? That's not where I last left it! But there it was, and it was mine.
But that wasn't even the worst part of the whole First Pee experience. Since my visual reconnaissance mission to determine if the peer I heard was actually me failed (due to the cartoon vagina obstruction), I then needed to actually stand up and look int the toilet to see if there was pee. But realization 1: I wasn't looking at a toilet bowl; someone had put a white plastic basin in there! And in that basin, I hadn't been peeing; I had been bleeding to death!!!
Knock, knock. Male nurse (he's still there??): "Were you able to urinate?" (are we seriously going to talk about this??) Me: "Umm...I don't know...I'm bleeding...a lot..." He comes in, LOOKS in my basin (OMG :s): "Yep, good job." Alriiiight...he didn't seem concerned about my excessive blood loss, and while I might not have been dying from that, I was definitely dying of shame, so I waddled my cartoon vagina back to my bed.
This was the first of many alarming peeing experiences. After that first pee, the nurses armed me with a squirt bottle so that I could shoot my vag with water while I peed, 1. to dilute the pee so it didn't burn my stitched up war wounds, and 2. to clean myself, since wiping when you have stitches down there is a no-go. But I came to love that bottle. It was several days before my body actually waited for me to give the okay before releasing pee - but I guess I should consider myself lucky, because I was always at least just barely on the seat; I never had any leakage or more serious incontinence issues. But it was over a year before the urgency and frequency with which I had to pee returned somewhat to normal. And this is why I caution you against the catheter: I went to my doctor about my peeing issues, certain I had some sort of infection because needing to pee 12 times a day and throughout the night couldn't be normal, could it? And she told me that that's common damage after having a catheter. No one told me! So I am telling you.
Most of your modesty will have been shredded by now, what by people watching your vagina self-destruct, and listening to you pee (oh, did I mention that, in addition to not being able to feel oneself pee, you also have no warning if you're going to...flatulate, either? - the real windy kind...)...but just in case you had any left, nurses (sometimes male) will come periodically throughout your stay in the hospital to check your stitches, change your hospital-issued panties (a.k.a. diapers), and more of those absorbent pads they will lay beneath you in your bed. That's right: you're tired, sweaty, bloody, and just generally disgusting, and someone will come and ask you to spread your legs! Oh, the horror...oh, the shame...
You know what? I was going to save pooping for another post, but really, after the initial horror that is the reality of your vaginal status is addressed, there's not a lot more to say...so I'll just cover it now. I don't think a lot of non-mommies knew to fear the first pee, but most can imagine the terror of the first poo, no? You're sore, you're swollen, you just passed a human being out of your body...granted, that came out a different hole, but still - the hole region is in turmoil. Add to that, prenatal vitamins and any drugs you may have had intravenously administered to you during your labour can have a constipatory effect...which means you're gonna have to PUSH - again - and it's going to hurt.
So here is what little advice I can offer you:
As I mentioned earlier, I ate frozen berries during labour. Berries = fibre! If your labour people really won't let you eat during labour, then start immediately after, and choose fibre-rich foods to make the whole process a bit "softer". Nurses may offer you a stool softener after labour, which is a good option if you're not into the whole natural-approach thing.
Next, have your trusty squirt bottle ready, with warm water in it (remember, you won't really want to wipe that much...:s But also have a cloth, soaked with warm water, that you will use to apply counter pressure. Hold it against your lady parts and stitches. This works in several ways: 1. it protects the, from anything that might be on its way out (I know, I know: this has been a particularly gross post with all this poop talk :s), 2. the warmth is soothing, 3. the counter pressure reduces your chanced of popping a stitch! Then squirt, squirt, dab, dab...you get the idea.
Vaginas, cartoon or otherwise, are a complex species, and I have more to say...but I don't want to overwhelm anyone (Stacey? Crystal? Are you reading this?), so I'll save that for another day ;) Plus, I actually have something kind of cute to post in addition to this, so I'll stop here.
Did YOU have a cartoon vagina? Please share :P
Saturday 7 May 2011
Mother's Day Edition:THE TRUTH ABOUT LABOUR
Finally, after weeks of sleeping in a lawn chair (I didn't actually bring it in the house, but I wanted to! I found a garage-sale plastic lounger to be the only thing comfortable to lie in by about 36 weeks), carrying around a blanket (I was certain my water would break while on a neighbour's couch or something :s, so brought one along with me wherever I went - just to be safe!), and doing anything I could think of to bring on labour...it happened.
But not in the traditional way. I was past full term, and my blood pressure had been high, so I was being seen by my midwife every other day at this point. At a 40 week and 1 day appointment, my blood pressure had sky rocketed, so my midwife followed me to the hospital to have blood work done, but told me I wouldn't be coming out without a baby! So off we went. Luckily, my mom had insisted on driving me to my appointment that day, so could also chauffeur me to the hospital - I was far too busy text messaging everyone I knew, including my husband, who was working, to have focused on the road.
I should pause a moment to say: my birthing plan was to have my baby under the care of my midwives, but in a hospital - just in case. I wanted to try to go it naturally, but wanted to know I could have an epidural if I wanted one. My mom would be there, but on the other side of the curtain during the really gross parts. My husband would be there, but was forbidden to actually look...you know...down there :s
I was admitted on July 2nd, 2009 around 3pm, had a few tests done, blood taken, etcetera, and had my water broken before at 4pm! I was all alone! My mom had gone to my house to pick up my labour bag, and my husband hadn't wrapped things up on site yet, but the midwife thought we couldn't wait. That was scary!
Having your water broken is gross. It's uncomfortable and borderline painful (okay, yeah, it registers as painful), followed by a warm gush. LOTS of fluid comes out! Luckily, I didn't see any of it, so can't comment on that. They put down these absorbent pads underneath you so they can just pick them up and sweep the grossness away afterwards (a labouring woman will get used to these pads, because they are used for a LOT of things related to baby-having and afterwards). The actual "breaking" is gross, too - they go up there with something that looks a bit like a knitting needle, and you can feel them hooking your amniotic sac, pulling (you get the sensation of it being rubbery and disgusting), trying again, until a little hole gets ripped into it, and then: GUSH :s
Breaking your water (aside: lots of books refer to it as "waterS", which is probably correct, but just seems wrong to me, so I will continue to keep it singular - like, really: how many waterS are in there?) is the first step in induction. I was lucky in that I didn't need to find out about any further steps, because my contractions started almost immediately. Perhaps a follower who experienced some of the other steps can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the next attempt to get things going would be to put some hormone-laden gel on your cervix, and then administer the dreaded Pitocin (via IV) if that doesn't work - I say "dreaded" because I'm told Pitocin can make your contractions come on with greater intensity, and hurry the stages of labour, so that the whole effacement and transition processes happen quicker, meaning your body undergoes changes (read: gets ripped apart) faster, as well - and that just sounds terribly painful, as if labour wasn't painful enough already!
But I started getting period-like cramps within minutes of having my water broken. They were subtle, and I didn't know if I was just having psychosomatic cramps because I wanted to feel something or not - but they were real. And they picked up, both in speed and intensity, pretty quickly! So, I filled the next few hours with six activities: the ball, the tub, mooing like a cow, getting gased up, epidural-having, and pushing.
1. My first labour strategy was the exercise ball. The kind you see at gyms, or may even own (although, personally: exercise? weird!). Both my midwives and the public health nurse who ran our prenatal classes (I didn't talk about prenatal classes, but I highly recommend them - even if only to make fun of other couples and feel better about yourselves and your future parenting abilities) recommended it, so I tried it. I sat on the ball (in my hospital gown, on one of those aforementioned absorbent pads), and kinda rocked around on it, making Elvis-like hip circles and stuff. The idea is that it helps your hips to expand and your cervix to recede and all that gravity business to occur, too. It was alright. I have photos of my sitting on it and smiling, looking pretty good, because this was just early on. But ti got boring and was kind of tiring, too, so I soon moved on. Oh, wait: when the contractions started getting more uncomfortable, I sat on the ball, but leaned forward and rested my arms on the side of the bed, which was a reasonable coping position.
2. As things progressed, I decided to give the bathtub a try. This was my worst idea EVER. The bathtub was not in my birthing suite; it was a few doors down the hall, so waddling down there sucked, to start. The warm water was a bit soothing, however remaining in a tensed position, holding onto the sides for dear life because the angle of the tub's back was just not right for my pregnant body undid any soothing that might have been had. Super uncomfortable. Also, it was just a regular bathtub - no jets or anything (which makes sense, I guess, since they have to obviously sterilize it each time it's used, and it would be hard to get into all those moving parts and tubes) - so the water got cold quickly, and my belly stuck out anyway, so the midwife just kept using a big jug to pour the water over it. Shivering while contracting was not pleasant. Things got so uncomfortable here, that this is when I began activity 3: mooing like a cow - but give me a minute. While in the tub, I suddenly realized I had no idea what was going on beneath my belly - like, I couldn't be sure I wasn't peeing or pooing in the tub! I refrained from panicking, though, and asked my midwife, who told me that urine is sterile, so to pee away - but that if I pooed, I would have to get out of the tub (obvi!). A note on pooing: (yes, I know it's gross, but if you've been following, you should know I'm not big on holding back - in fact, that's kind of the whole point of this blog) do it! Not in the tub. But try to poo during the early stages of labour. Know why? Because if you do it then, there's a better chance you will not poo on the table, during labour - how embarrassing! But back to the tub. The whole thing was uncomfortable, NOT relaxing, and a big waste of time, but the WORST part was what came after: returning to the birthing suite. It didn't feel like very long, but apparently I spent a bout an hour in that god-awful tub, and by that point, my contractions were strong and often, so getting out of the tub was horrendous, and the walk back to the room, cold, wet, and doubling over in pain every minute, was the worst part of the entire labour experience!
3. On to mooing like a cow. This was my alternative to screaming in pain. I had been told in prenatal classes that yelling or making high-pitched noises during painful contractions would not help - that it actually increased your tension and made things worse (Aside: Know what else makes everything worse? When there's another woman down the hall from you, NOT following this advice, and being terrifyingly loud and screechy. I remember being relatively calm at the start of all of this - until I heard HER, and began fearing the worst! Incidentally, I still do not think labour is as bad as that particular woman made it sound.). So, I was determined to be quiet and low - so I mooed. Even through my pain, I was fully aware of how ridiculous I sounded - but seriously, it works - try it.
4. When mooing began to fail me, and I started demanding the epidural, the midwife appeased me with gas - sweet, sweet nitrous oxide, O, how I love thee. For real: if you have not yet had a baby but are expecting, consider which hospitals near you offer nitrous oxide during labour, because not all do, and even in those that do, not all rooms are set up for it (they have to meet ventilation requirements) - AND IT IS FANTASTIC!!!! Man, how I loved that gas! You are supposed to just put the mask to your face during a contraction, and breathe regularly when it passes. But eff that! I sucked on that thing like it was...well, um...whatever - something you suck really hard on - and never let the mask break suction from my face. I got super, super stoned. I remember being aware of people speaking to me, but I felt no obligation to respond (that would have involved removing the mask - uh uh). However, I was so out of it that I began to wonder if I might throw up - not because I felt nauseous, but because I didn't feel like I had control over any bodily function anymore. And then the paranoia that commonly plagues the ultra-high (I'm told) started to take hold, and I was concerned, but too high to really care very much. I did ask the midwife, though: "Am I going to throw up?" - like she would know :$ But I did not throw up (thank the Lord).
5. They made me give up my beloved gas when I caved and got the epidural, but it was a fair trade! I'm not a really needle-scared person to begin with, but the legend of the crazy-long epidural needle was still of some concern. Needlessly, though: I didn't even feel it. It didn't work instantly, though, which was a bit disconcerting, but after a few minutes, it kicked in and I wondered why I hadn't just gotten it from the beginning! I still had sensation and was aware of my contractions...but the pain was GONE - totally gone! It was so amazing! I literally could have just gone to sleep, but the downside of an epidural soon became evident :s Avery's heart rate started dropping because of it, which scared me, and they kept rolling me into different positions and such to try to find a position that he liked better, and that allowed his heart rate to come up.
6. It wasn't even an hour after the epidural, though, that I was fully dilated and feeling the urge to push, so push I did! My husband and the backup midwife each held one of my legs up into a bent position, and I just bore down an gave 'er. But he wouldn't come out! The primary midwife was in there with the old olive oil, doing her thing, to no avail. She gave me a "little" episiotomy, but that still wasn't enough, so she cut me again :s Sounds gross - and I paid for it later! - but I wasn't aware of that pain at the time. Two cuts still wasn't enough, and Avery's heart rate was still somewhat distressing, so there was talk of a c-section if I didn't get him out on the next push - and that was it! Out he came! I think I only pushed three times, but my memory gets a little fuzzy and my concept of time was definitely a little off, so who knows. My whole labour was only about 7.5 hours (average first-time labour is 12 hours), and Avery was born at 12:04am, so fill in the activity timelines as you will.
The midwife had called the Respiratory Therapist when I started pushing, because of concerns as a result of Avery's lowered heart rate, so once he was out, he was unceremoniously swept away in case he needed some sort of resuscitation, but he was just fine and cried seconds later :) But, seriously, they sliced through that cord so fast, the blood spattered the wall above my head and onto some equipment to the side! I have included a lovely photo as evidence.
My husband got to "trim" the cord a few minutes later, while I asked two pertinent questions: "How's his mouth?" (cleft palate has affected two of my family members) and "Did I poo?" (no - yayyyy!) And then I got to hold him and attempt to breastfeed, while delivering the afterbirth and getting stitched up. Holding newborn: sweet :) Passing afterbirth: gross (it feels like a huge blob gurgles out of you - because one does). Stitches: I was aware of them, and they were uncomfortable, but I was relatively insensitive in that region after all of that trauma - oh, I don't remember how many stitches I required, but they were on two layers on flesh, and were required to repair the double slice I received up the front AND the TEAR I suffered up the back!!!
Wow, reliving that has left me very tired, so I'll save the "after" stuff for another post.
One last thing: I should have said seven activities, because throughout all but the pushing, I was texting friends and updating my facebook status, just so no one would feel left out :P I won't get into it now, because I absolutely plan on devoting an entire post to the topic soon, but every new mom should have a smart phone (preferably a Blackberry (yes, that recommendation is based solely on my personal bias)) - it was essential to my survival.
Oh, man, I'm bad at stopping writing :s - two more "last things": Maybe I should have said eight activities, because another was eating! You're not supposed to eat during labour - I think in case you need surgery and barf ans aspirate or something - but come on! Labour is long and strenuous! So my midwife let me eat the snacks I had brought with me: frozen grapes (green) and strawberries (quartered). They were fantastic. I froze them because they're yummy that way, but also because it takes you longer to eat them, so you eat fewer (which is good because as I said, you're not supposed to eat anything). I advise anyone about to have a baby to do this, too.
Finally, I know my labour was relatively short and uncomplicated. I just want to acknowledge that, because women who have had long and difficult labours tend to get a bit testy about it and might want to attack me. On the other hand, I know several girls who have had much shorter labours, too! To each their own. I'd do it again. And mark my words, ladies who do not yet have babies: LABOUR IS THE EASY PART!
Happy Mother's Day, Mommies, and Those Who Have Mommies! What better day to share your labour stories? Hit me with 'em! ;)
But not in the traditional way. I was past full term, and my blood pressure had been high, so I was being seen by my midwife every other day at this point. At a 40 week and 1 day appointment, my blood pressure had sky rocketed, so my midwife followed me to the hospital to have blood work done, but told me I wouldn't be coming out without a baby! So off we went. Luckily, my mom had insisted on driving me to my appointment that day, so could also chauffeur me to the hospital - I was far too busy text messaging everyone I knew, including my husband, who was working, to have focused on the road.
I should pause a moment to say: my birthing plan was to have my baby under the care of my midwives, but in a hospital - just in case. I wanted to try to go it naturally, but wanted to know I could have an epidural if I wanted one. My mom would be there, but on the other side of the curtain during the really gross parts. My husband would be there, but was forbidden to actually look...you know...down there :s
I was admitted on July 2nd, 2009 around 3pm, had a few tests done, blood taken, etcetera, and had my water broken before at 4pm! I was all alone! My mom had gone to my house to pick up my labour bag, and my husband hadn't wrapped things up on site yet, but the midwife thought we couldn't wait. That was scary!
Having your water broken is gross. It's uncomfortable and borderline painful (okay, yeah, it registers as painful), followed by a warm gush. LOTS of fluid comes out! Luckily, I didn't see any of it, so can't comment on that. They put down these absorbent pads underneath you so they can just pick them up and sweep the grossness away afterwards (a labouring woman will get used to these pads, because they are used for a LOT of things related to baby-having and afterwards). The actual "breaking" is gross, too - they go up there with something that looks a bit like a knitting needle, and you can feel them hooking your amniotic sac, pulling (you get the sensation of it being rubbery and disgusting), trying again, until a little hole gets ripped into it, and then: GUSH :s
Breaking your water (aside: lots of books refer to it as "waterS", which is probably correct, but just seems wrong to me, so I will continue to keep it singular - like, really: how many waterS are in there?) is the first step in induction. I was lucky in that I didn't need to find out about any further steps, because my contractions started almost immediately. Perhaps a follower who experienced some of the other steps can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the next attempt to get things going would be to put some hormone-laden gel on your cervix, and then administer the dreaded Pitocin (via IV) if that doesn't work - I say "dreaded" because I'm told Pitocin can make your contractions come on with greater intensity, and hurry the stages of labour, so that the whole effacement and transition processes happen quicker, meaning your body undergoes changes (read: gets ripped apart) faster, as well - and that just sounds terribly painful, as if labour wasn't painful enough already!
But I started getting period-like cramps within minutes of having my water broken. They were subtle, and I didn't know if I was just having psychosomatic cramps because I wanted to feel something or not - but they were real. And they picked up, both in speed and intensity, pretty quickly! So, I filled the next few hours with six activities: the ball, the tub, mooing like a cow, getting gased up, epidural-having, and pushing.
1. My first labour strategy was the exercise ball. The kind you see at gyms, or may even own (although, personally: exercise? weird!). Both my midwives and the public health nurse who ran our prenatal classes (I didn't talk about prenatal classes, but I highly recommend them - even if only to make fun of other couples and feel better about yourselves and your future parenting abilities) recommended it, so I tried it. I sat on the ball (in my hospital gown, on one of those aforementioned absorbent pads), and kinda rocked around on it, making Elvis-like hip circles and stuff. The idea is that it helps your hips to expand and your cervix to recede and all that gravity business to occur, too. It was alright. I have photos of my sitting on it and smiling, looking pretty good, because this was just early on. But ti got boring and was kind of tiring, too, so I soon moved on. Oh, wait: when the contractions started getting more uncomfortable, I sat on the ball, but leaned forward and rested my arms on the side of the bed, which was a reasonable coping position.
2. As things progressed, I decided to give the bathtub a try. This was my worst idea EVER. The bathtub was not in my birthing suite; it was a few doors down the hall, so waddling down there sucked, to start. The warm water was a bit soothing, however remaining in a tensed position, holding onto the sides for dear life because the angle of the tub's back was just not right for my pregnant body undid any soothing that might have been had. Super uncomfortable. Also, it was just a regular bathtub - no jets or anything (which makes sense, I guess, since they have to obviously sterilize it each time it's used, and it would be hard to get into all those moving parts and tubes) - so the water got cold quickly, and my belly stuck out anyway, so the midwife just kept using a big jug to pour the water over it. Shivering while contracting was not pleasant. Things got so uncomfortable here, that this is when I began activity 3: mooing like a cow - but give me a minute. While in the tub, I suddenly realized I had no idea what was going on beneath my belly - like, I couldn't be sure I wasn't peeing or pooing in the tub! I refrained from panicking, though, and asked my midwife, who told me that urine is sterile, so to pee away - but that if I pooed, I would have to get out of the tub (obvi!). A note on pooing: (yes, I know it's gross, but if you've been following, you should know I'm not big on holding back - in fact, that's kind of the whole point of this blog) do it! Not in the tub. But try to poo during the early stages of labour. Know why? Because if you do it then, there's a better chance you will not poo on the table, during labour - how embarrassing! But back to the tub. The whole thing was uncomfortable, NOT relaxing, and a big waste of time, but the WORST part was what came after: returning to the birthing suite. It didn't feel like very long, but apparently I spent a bout an hour in that god-awful tub, and by that point, my contractions were strong and often, so getting out of the tub was horrendous, and the walk back to the room, cold, wet, and doubling over in pain every minute, was the worst part of the entire labour experience!
3. On to mooing like a cow. This was my alternative to screaming in pain. I had been told in prenatal classes that yelling or making high-pitched noises during painful contractions would not help - that it actually increased your tension and made things worse (Aside: Know what else makes everything worse? When there's another woman down the hall from you, NOT following this advice, and being terrifyingly loud and screechy. I remember being relatively calm at the start of all of this - until I heard HER, and began fearing the worst! Incidentally, I still do not think labour is as bad as that particular woman made it sound.). So, I was determined to be quiet and low - so I mooed. Even through my pain, I was fully aware of how ridiculous I sounded - but seriously, it works - try it.
4. When mooing began to fail me, and I started demanding the epidural, the midwife appeased me with gas - sweet, sweet nitrous oxide, O, how I love thee. For real: if you have not yet had a baby but are expecting, consider which hospitals near you offer nitrous oxide during labour, because not all do, and even in those that do, not all rooms are set up for it (they have to meet ventilation requirements) - AND IT IS FANTASTIC!!!! Man, how I loved that gas! You are supposed to just put the mask to your face during a contraction, and breathe regularly when it passes. But eff that! I sucked on that thing like it was...well, um...whatever - something you suck really hard on - and never let the mask break suction from my face. I got super, super stoned. I remember being aware of people speaking to me, but I felt no obligation to respond (that would have involved removing the mask - uh uh). However, I was so out of it that I began to wonder if I might throw up - not because I felt nauseous, but because I didn't feel like I had control over any bodily function anymore. And then the paranoia that commonly plagues the ultra-high (I'm told) started to take hold, and I was concerned, but too high to really care very much. I did ask the midwife, though: "Am I going to throw up?" - like she would know :$ But I did not throw up (thank the Lord).
5. They made me give up my beloved gas when I caved and got the epidural, but it was a fair trade! I'm not a really needle-scared person to begin with, but the legend of the crazy-long epidural needle was still of some concern. Needlessly, though: I didn't even feel it. It didn't work instantly, though, which was a bit disconcerting, but after a few minutes, it kicked in and I wondered why I hadn't just gotten it from the beginning! I still had sensation and was aware of my contractions...but the pain was GONE - totally gone! It was so amazing! I literally could have just gone to sleep, but the downside of an epidural soon became evident :s Avery's heart rate started dropping because of it, which scared me, and they kept rolling me into different positions and such to try to find a position that he liked better, and that allowed his heart rate to come up.
6. It wasn't even an hour after the epidural, though, that I was fully dilated and feeling the urge to push, so push I did! My husband and the backup midwife each held one of my legs up into a bent position, and I just bore down an gave 'er. But he wouldn't come out! The primary midwife was in there with the old olive oil, doing her thing, to no avail. She gave me a "little" episiotomy, but that still wasn't enough, so she cut me again :s Sounds gross - and I paid for it later! - but I wasn't aware of that pain at the time. Two cuts still wasn't enough, and Avery's heart rate was still somewhat distressing, so there was talk of a c-section if I didn't get him out on the next push - and that was it! Out he came! I think I only pushed three times, but my memory gets a little fuzzy and my concept of time was definitely a little off, so who knows. My whole labour was only about 7.5 hours (average first-time labour is 12 hours), and Avery was born at 12:04am, so fill in the activity timelines as you will.
The midwife had called the Respiratory Therapist when I started pushing, because of concerns as a result of Avery's lowered heart rate, so once he was out, he was unceremoniously swept away in case he needed some sort of resuscitation, but he was just fine and cried seconds later :) But, seriously, they sliced through that cord so fast, the blood spattered the wall above my head and onto some equipment to the side! I have included a lovely photo as evidence.
My husband got to "trim" the cord a few minutes later, while I asked two pertinent questions: "How's his mouth?" (cleft palate has affected two of my family members) and "Did I poo?" (no - yayyyy!) And then I got to hold him and attempt to breastfeed, while delivering the afterbirth and getting stitched up. Holding newborn: sweet :) Passing afterbirth: gross (it feels like a huge blob gurgles out of you - because one does). Stitches: I was aware of them, and they were uncomfortable, but I was relatively insensitive in that region after all of that trauma - oh, I don't remember how many stitches I required, but they were on two layers on flesh, and were required to repair the double slice I received up the front AND the TEAR I suffered up the back!!!
Wow, reliving that has left me very tired, so I'll save the "after" stuff for another post.
One last thing: I should have said seven activities, because throughout all but the pushing, I was texting friends and updating my facebook status, just so no one would feel left out :P I won't get into it now, because I absolutely plan on devoting an entire post to the topic soon, but every new mom should have a smart phone (preferably a Blackberry (yes, that recommendation is based solely on my personal bias)) - it was essential to my survival.
Oh, man, I'm bad at stopping writing :s - two more "last things": Maybe I should have said eight activities, because another was eating! You're not supposed to eat during labour - I think in case you need surgery and barf ans aspirate or something - but come on! Labour is long and strenuous! So my midwife let me eat the snacks I had brought with me: frozen grapes (green) and strawberries (quartered). They were fantastic. I froze them because they're yummy that way, but also because it takes you longer to eat them, so you eat fewer (which is good because as I said, you're not supposed to eat anything). I advise anyone about to have a baby to do this, too.
Finally, I know my labour was relatively short and uncomplicated. I just want to acknowledge that, because women who have had long and difficult labours tend to get a bit testy about it and might want to attack me. On the other hand, I know several girls who have had much shorter labours, too! To each their own. I'd do it again. And mark my words, ladies who do not yet have babies: LABOUR IS THE EASY PART!
Happy Mother's Day, Mommies, and Those Who Have Mommies! What better day to share your labour stories? Hit me with 'em! ;)
Tuesday 3 May 2011
550 Views!
This doesn't count as a real post, but I had to mention it: 550 people have viewed my blog! Okay, it would be more accurate to say it has been viewed 550 times. Fine. Still super exciting for me, because I didn't really know if anyone woud be interested, and now here it is, with 550 views, 12 official followers (one I don't know, which is EXTRA big-time :D), and lots of email followers! And people are commenting now! That makes me particularly happy because I'd really love for this to turn into something of a discussion forum. So anyway...THANKS EVERYONE! I hope you'll keep adding your thoughts or stories, and please share the link with anyone you think might like it!
Monday 2 May 2011
Fisting. And Midwives. And Indian Rug Burns.
One of the first considerations a pregnant woman has to give is to whether she'd prefer the care of her family doctor, an obstetrician, or a midwife. My only baby-having experience had been with horses, which sounds strange, but I had witnessed and assisted several equine births (and conceptions, but that is anther story, and totally unrelated), and sort of figured, if they can do it, so can I - so the natural approach appealed to me, and I was (am) also a devotee of homeopathy and naturopathy...but I'm not a Birkenstock-wearing, armpit hair-growing, hippie-type either - I have fake boobs, for God's sake! But a very materialistic friend of mine (teehee - we'll see if she reads my blog now - she'll know I'm talking about her :)) had used a midwife for her second baby (not with her first), and highly recommended it. Like me, she had a bad fall while pregnant, and her midwife had gone to meet her at Emergency and stayed with her while she waited, because she was frightened and upset. That sounded above and beyond, and I knew I wouldn't get that kind of care from my GP (not that she wouldn't want to! I just know her schedule and commitment to other patients would never allow it.)
If you do choose a midwife, the first thing you have to do is call to see if they are accepting patients with your due date. They only take on a certain number at that time, because they assign you a primary midwife and a secondary midwife, so that they can guarantee you that one of them will be at your birth. Luckily, Burlington and Area Midwives was able to take me. I went for a consultation, and was quickly won over by them. I will admit, the fact that the midwife who was to be my primary was young, cute, and "normal" looking helped a lot! But so did learning that midwifery services were covered for Canadians, that I didn't have to have a home birth (that was never a consideration for me - hospital all the way!), and that I could still have an epidural if I wanted. They see you at the same frequency as a doctor would, and send you for the same tests and ultrasounds. But they also do a home visit, to familiarize themselves with your home, should you choose a home birth, should you have one by accident, and for after-care - because they do your post-natal care in your home after you have the baby - a definite perk! You alternate between your primary and secondary midwife each visit that you have, so that you are equally familiar with both. And you get to call/page them at anytime, if you have any concerns (I called them the Super Bowl Stones night :s) - which is very reassuring.
As it happened, my primary midwife had her own baby early, and wasn't there for my birth, but my secondary was, and she was great. A third midwife attended my birth as an assistant, so I still had totally dedicated care. If you have a doctor for your prenatal care, they make every effort to attend your birth, but very often it just doesn't happen. It's the nurses at the hospital who care for you throughout your labour - right up until the push! Dont' get me wrong: the nurses are great! But I liked knowing someone I knew, and who was familiar with my birthing plan, was going to be there with me.
Here's another thing about midwives. I'm not sure if this will be a selling point, though... They fist you. Yep. Exactly how you're thinking. It's called a "stretch and sweep", but that doesn't really convey it's true nature. Once you are past 36 weeks, they offer you this service, which is supposed to stimulate your cervix, and help prepare it and encourage labour to begin naturally. I have mentioned the desperation of the very-pregnant woman to get that baby out...so this is appealing! But it is anything but.
Basically, the midwife shoves their fist up there and "massages" your cervix - except I'd never had a massage that made me bleed before. And I'd never had a massage that made me grip the table, sweat, and cry before. But now I've had two! And neither worked! However, I have friends who have endured them, as well, and who went into labour that night. If it works, it's worth it. If it doesn't...oh man...:s
Midwives also talk to you about "perineal massage", which is supposed to reduce the likelihood of needing an episiotomy, or the severity of tearing. Of your vag. So this is important! They essentially tell you to get your "partner" (I use quotation marks because you should at this point see how un-partner-like my partner was) to massage your perineum (in guys, the area commonly known as the "taint" - t'ain't your ass and t'ain't your balls) with olive oil - but so hard it feels like an Indian Rug Burn! You want me to do that WHERE?? Needless to say, my "partner" did not do this, and I couldn't bring myself to inflict that kind of pain on my nether regions - if it was even possible - sounds to me like self perineal massage at 36 weeks pregnant might involve some contortionistic abilities. The new and sealed bottle of olive oil (extra virgin - hehe - get it?) didn't go to waste, though...they ask you to take it to the hospital, where my midwife did use it on me, but sadly, to no avail: I required TWO episiotomies out the back and I tore up the front! :o
What is my point? Not sure...take it for what you will. Some people swear by the stretch and sweep, and others have had better success with the perineal massage, too. I do still strongly recommend midwives, though :)
What are your thoughts? Have you/will you use a midwife or a doctor? Experience with fisting - ahem: the stretch and sweep - or perineal massage, or any other such practices?
If you do choose a midwife, the first thing you have to do is call to see if they are accepting patients with your due date. They only take on a certain number at that time, because they assign you a primary midwife and a secondary midwife, so that they can guarantee you that one of them will be at your birth. Luckily, Burlington and Area Midwives was able to take me. I went for a consultation, and was quickly won over by them. I will admit, the fact that the midwife who was to be my primary was young, cute, and "normal" looking helped a lot! But so did learning that midwifery services were covered for Canadians, that I didn't have to have a home birth (that was never a consideration for me - hospital all the way!), and that I could still have an epidural if I wanted. They see you at the same frequency as a doctor would, and send you for the same tests and ultrasounds. But they also do a home visit, to familiarize themselves with your home, should you choose a home birth, should you have one by accident, and for after-care - because they do your post-natal care in your home after you have the baby - a definite perk! You alternate between your primary and secondary midwife each visit that you have, so that you are equally familiar with both. And you get to call/page them at anytime, if you have any concerns (I called them the Super Bowl Stones night :s) - which is very reassuring.
As it happened, my primary midwife had her own baby early, and wasn't there for my birth, but my secondary was, and she was great. A third midwife attended my birth as an assistant, so I still had totally dedicated care. If you have a doctor for your prenatal care, they make every effort to attend your birth, but very often it just doesn't happen. It's the nurses at the hospital who care for you throughout your labour - right up until the push! Dont' get me wrong: the nurses are great! But I liked knowing someone I knew, and who was familiar with my birthing plan, was going to be there with me.
Here's another thing about midwives. I'm not sure if this will be a selling point, though... They fist you. Yep. Exactly how you're thinking. It's called a "stretch and sweep", but that doesn't really convey it's true nature. Once you are past 36 weeks, they offer you this service, which is supposed to stimulate your cervix, and help prepare it and encourage labour to begin naturally. I have mentioned the desperation of the very-pregnant woman to get that baby out...so this is appealing! But it is anything but.
Basically, the midwife shoves their fist up there and "massages" your cervix - except I'd never had a massage that made me bleed before. And I'd never had a massage that made me grip the table, sweat, and cry before. But now I've had two! And neither worked! However, I have friends who have endured them, as well, and who went into labour that night. If it works, it's worth it. If it doesn't...oh man...:s
Midwives also talk to you about "perineal massage", which is supposed to reduce the likelihood of needing an episiotomy, or the severity of tearing. Of your vag. So this is important! They essentially tell you to get your "partner" (I use quotation marks because you should at this point see how un-partner-like my partner was) to massage your perineum (in guys, the area commonly known as the "taint" - t'ain't your ass and t'ain't your balls) with olive oil - but so hard it feels like an Indian Rug Burn! You want me to do that WHERE?? Needless to say, my "partner" did not do this, and I couldn't bring myself to inflict that kind of pain on my nether regions - if it was even possible - sounds to me like self perineal massage at 36 weeks pregnant might involve some contortionistic abilities. The new and sealed bottle of olive oil (extra virgin - hehe - get it?) didn't go to waste, though...they ask you to take it to the hospital, where my midwife did use it on me, but sadly, to no avail: I required TWO episiotomies out the back and I tore up the front! :o
What is my point? Not sure...take it for what you will. Some people swear by the stretch and sweep, and others have had better success with the perineal massage, too. I do still strongly recommend midwives, though :)
What are your thoughts? Have you/will you use a midwife or a doctor? Experience with fisting - ahem: the stretch and sweep - or perineal massage, or any other such practices?
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