I titled this post Master of the Universe, because that's what my ex-husband seems to think he is, believing that he knows all, and is the only person capable of teaching our child all he needs to know in life (you know - essential skills like baseball and tree planting). But upon finding some images, it struck me that he kind of resembles He-Man, too! He would love that. But, you know what? There was a brief period in my life where I didn't look too far off from She-Ra, either! And I vaguely remember my mom making me a She-Ra costume one Halloween...I wonder if I still have it...
Well, anyway, a quick Wikipedia consult reminded me of another detail I had forgotten: Did you know He-Man and She-Ra were brother and sister? Twins, actually. In my mind, they were kind of dating :s And with images like THIS, what was I supposed to think?? Raises some questions in my mind... And I would like to point out that my ex-husband and I were never twins, or related in any way other than through marriage.
Ooh! But She-Ra and I do have something else in common, too: a love of horses - and superior equitation skills ;) I have owned a few great horses in my day, but I must admit, Swiftwind kicks their asses, being a pegasus unicorn and all... Getting to the point, it is that time of year, when mommis and daddis must decide which sports and activities they'd like to register their children for. I learned the hard way last year that registration happens WAY earlier than you might expect! And the early bird gets the worm - or the best times slots for activities, anyway. In 2012, Avery participated in swimming and skating. I missed out on gymnastics and hockey, by being too late :( He LOVED both of them. He really thrives in the group lesson setting, and is WAY better behaved for the instructors than we ever thought possible. He's been in swimming lessons since he was an infant, but this year was the first year one of us wasn't in the water with him. The experience has been amazing for him. He went from being a kid who didn't like having his hair washed because the water might go in his eyes, to a kid who dunks himself right under the water in the pool voluntarily, again and again! In skating (which we call "hockey"), he went from a kid who couldn't stand up on his skates, to a kid who can stand up, get up when he falls, jump, and skate all the way around the rink multiple times without falling! He doesn't really "push and glide" just yet - it's more like walking - but it's a huge improvement, and throughout his lessons, he has never been discouraged by falling or struggling, and is enthusiastic about his progress. We support his learning by taking him ourselves to public swims and skates as often as we can - but the trained instructors have little methods that work better than ours, and are able to help this kids in ways we can't.
This is where my ex-husband and I disagree. I asked him last night which sports or activities he wanted Avery to participate in for 2013, suggesting swimming, soccer, t-ball, hockey, and skiing or snowboarding. Master of the Universe supports Avery's involvement in none of these, or any other activities :( He knows how to snowboard, and was a pretty good baseball player in his day, so feels that he is the best person to teach Avery these skills, but not until he is older. He didn't comment at all on any of the other activities. He said he took Avery snowboarding once this year, but the child lacked the leg strength and understanding to be successful, and was too distracted by eating snow. Fair enough; he's 3 1/2. But if we were to enroll Avery in Snowboard School, it would be for the very end of 2013, when he is a full year older. (Aside: Avery and I went for a walk yesterday, and beforehand, he was very tired. When we got back, I was exhausted, but he was raring to go. I asked him why, and he said, "I was tired but then I ate some snow, and then I wasn't tired anymore." This could be the secret to eternal youth, and we just don't know it. I've taught him about coloured snow, and I'm aware of acid rain and such...but come on...how many of us ate snow as children, and have lived to tell about it??) Furthermore, he feels that Avery is too young for "organized ball", and needs to "learn the fundamentals, one on one" before engaging in t-ball.
That's total crap. He has never come to any of Avery's lessons or performances (Christmas concerts and the like), so hasn't seen how much the kid thrives in such settings. I'm all for his dad supporting his endeavours with opportunities to learn from him and practice his skills outside of formal lessons, but an almost-4 year old is very capable of participating in organized sports, and I think there is a lot to be said about formal instruction. The people who coach and teach kids' sports are trained in TEACHING, and know ways to make the learning fun for the age group they are working with. There is a difference between being good at something, and knowing how to teach it to others - especially children! My ex accused me of "not understanding the role of parents, especially the duties of a 'dad'" (he put the quotations around "dad" himself - teehee).
He-Man, and all of the other Masters of the Universes out there need to realize that entrusting someone else to teach your child a skill is not a reflection of or insult to your own abilities. PLUS, playing sports with other kids is FUN! Kids develop social skills, sportsmanship, and more, in addition to whatever the particular sport or activity is. Luckily, He-Man doesn't have final say on the matter. He was too focused on the bottom line, dollar-wise, in our Separation Agreement to care about details like who actually makes decisions about our child's welfare (She-Ra!). So, Avery will be playing soccer, t-ball, and hockey this year, as well as continuing his swimming lessons, and perhaps taking a music or arts program, if he shows any interest.
I'm not going to become one of those stage-mommis, who put incredible pressure on their children. But I am certainly going to encourage both of my children to try different things, and to get involved in activities they enjoy. Avery is 3 1/2, and a total SPONGE! He absorbs everything, and wants more. He LOVES learning, and you can actually see him blossoming in these lessons. He is excited to share his new skills with us (Mama, Daddy Jussie, Gramma, Auntie Pat, Grandma JenJen, primarily), wanting us to watch him, and showing us what he's learned when we engage in these activities with him outside of his lesson times. That kid really IS Master of HIS Universe - and ours! :)
I haven't written any baby updates in a long time, either, and he's a Mini Master, himself! :D He is now 9 1/2 months, and has been crawling since about 5 months, standing since 7, and being able to get down from a stand since about 8. He is now "cruising" - I believe that is the correct term for walking while holding onto things? I remember reading that sleeping is sometimes disturbed when babies are hitting developmental milestones, and prefer to practice their new skills in the middle of the night (or naptime) than to sleep - and this couldn't be more true for Baby Ashton! Right around 8 months, he suddenly stopped sleeping through the night. He would wake, and where he would previously have just rolled over and gone back to sleep, we found him pulling himself to a stand in his crib, then crying because he didn't know how to get down! After a few terrible weeks (sleep-wise), Ashton spent an entire hour in his crib when he was supposed to be napping, just getting up, looking behind himself, and letting himself fall onto his bum about 200 times - happily! And that was that! He had mastered getting down, and returned to his good-sleeping baby self! :) Mini Master of our Universe!
What are your thoughts on toddler sports and activities? What will your children be participating in this year? If you like this blog, please share it with others and become a follower! :D
