Baby 2 tricked me into believing he was an "Easy Baby" - a "Good Sleeping Baby"... The first few days of life, he did the typical, brand-new baby thing: sleeping all the time, having to be woken for feeds, etcetera. That all changes about a week in, but as a second-time Mommi, I was prepared for that.
For the next few weeks, he'd sleep for a few hours at a time, with short periods of wakefulness in between - but he seemed to have his days and nights mixed up :s This notion strikes fear in my heart, as I have heard horror stories from other Mommis of babies keeping them up all night for months on end! Baby 2 still slept all the time, but in the daytime, he'd sleep for 3-4 hour stretches, while at night, it was more like 1-2 hours :s Since it was still early days, and we were still having at-home midwife visits, I asked her if she had any advice on how to help Baby 2 sort his days and nights out. She very confidently replied that she did: The Backwards Somersault. Um, what? She took the baby and had me stand up across from her. Then she did exactly what it sounds like: she made the baby do a backwards somersault into my arms. She had some sort of explanation for it, acknowledging that it was just an Old Wives Tale, but said that it usually worked! Whatever: I was sleep deprived and borderline desperate already, so was hopeful! As one might predict, however, it did not work. What did work was what I would have done anyway (a lesson learned from Baby 1), which was simply to not do anything stimulating in the nighttime hours, remain in the dark, and skip nighttime diaper changes (note: although I am a cloth diaper advocate, I don't start with them until baby's legs are plump enough to fill up the leg holes, and I never use them overnight). I skip the diaper changes because they just wake him up too much, and are difficult to do in the dark - lapfulls of pee and being squirted with liquid diarrhea a few too many times verified this - but also, they just aren't necessary. Baby 2 stopped pooping overnight, and even (shockingly) woke up dry a few mornings! We monitored his bum health diligently, and might have had to change our no-bum-change rule had he shown any signs of irritation, but there haven't been any yet! Here is our secret weapon: Druide Bum Balm- we slather it on his diaper regions only after he has been thoroughly cleaned and dried (otherwise you're just trapping bacteria against the skin - this holds with any diaper cream, btw), and only at bedtime. Incidentally, we also use it on anything: dry cuticles, cuts, pimples (for us!), etcetera. It smells delicious, too. Anyhow...after a week or so, he started regulating, and sleeping for longer stretches overnight. By longer stretches, I mean like maybe 3-4 hours :s But still.
At 9 weeks, Baby 2 pulled the ultimate fast one. He suddenly started sleeping for 7+ hours in one stretch at night! Followed by another approximately 3 hours stretch after a feed! It was amazing! It was heavenly. I could deal with that. I started to feel renewed, like my old self again - not sleep deprived at all! But Baby 2 is a SHARK, yo. He lulled me into a false sense of security and happiness with those 7+ hour stretches for almost a month straight! Then he took it all away :( :( :( He dropped back to only sleeping 1-3 hours at a time again. It felt worse than it had in the beginning. I searched for a reason - because if there was a cause, I could fix it. But my search was fruitless. It's been 5 weeks since that lovely 7+ hour stuff stopped, and while it's gotten a bit better, and he still throws me a bone (or a curve ball, I suppose) with a good sleep here and there, he remains a mystery - a sleepless mystery.
His new trick is to go to bed like an angel, only to wake every 5 minutes for 1-6 hours, screaming his little head off, and not seeming to want anything at all! Sometimes, he plays favourites and refuses to calm down for his Daddi - only Mommi will do:s Eventually, he gives in and falls asleep - but only after he's sure he's got us thoroughly frustrated and near breakdowns - then he sleeps in his Victory Pose, letting us know that we haven't really won; he's gone down, but on his own terms.
Note: The above photo is not Baby 2, but a random baby in Victory Pose. Why not my own baby, you ask? Because if my baby is sleeping, you can be DAMN sure I'm not going to risk effing that up by snapping a photo!!! :P Never wake a sleeping baby. For real.
Another Asshole Tactic of the feral newborn is to take really long naps whenever you are exhausted, but don't try to nap yourself, because you're sure he won't stay asleep, and to wake up immediately after you lay down if you do think you have a chance to get caught up on some sleep while he naps. Constant fuckery!
At the end if the day, I love that little asshole! His smiles and overall adorability more than make up for his assholiness at night. I have always maintained that God (if you will) made babies and puppies so cute, because otherwise, we'd kill them. (Please don't call Children's Aid - I'm JOKING.)
