I know that title suggests I'm some sort of pedophile, and I'm not. I'm not watching random kids at daycare; I'm just watching MINE. Obsessively. Compulsively. But it's his first say of daycare and I'm an interesting mix of worried, excited, and fascinated!
OH - HAHA - THEY HAVE TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS AND ALL THE KIDS HAVE THEIR HANDS ON THEIR HEADS...EXCEPT FOR MINE, WHO IS WANDERING AROUND, TOTALLY NOT CARING :) (I'm trying to write this but I can't help clicking back over to the live video feed the daycare centre provides.)
Mostly worried. He's my baby; I stayed home with him for 14 months, and then had a nanny come into the home to care for him when I returned to work. So this is his first time in this sort of setting. I went with him yesterday for an hour-long visit, I questioned my decision to put him into one class ahead of his age group: he is 26 months, and the class switch is at 30 months. The centre's director suggested he start in the older class, so that he doesn't have to switch just as he's gotten comfortable, and because he is pretty advanced, verbally and physically. That's something I'm obviously proud of, so take as a huge compliment, buuuuut...then come the worries. Is putting him in the older class making him the small fish in a big pond? Will it cause him to learn quicker from the influence and example of the older kids...or will it hurt his self esteem and give him an inferiority complex??
OH NO - ALL THE KIDS ARE IN A CIRCLE FOR STORYTIME, AND THERE IS A LADY TRYING TO CLEAN UP THE TABLES BEHIND, BUT SHE HAS TO KEEP STOPPING AND PLOPPING MY SON BACK INTO THE CIRCLE, BECAUSE HE KEEPS LEAVING TO ROAM
If you've been following this blog from the beginning, or know me personally, you may realize that incessant worry and over-analysis are sort of my things. It's just what I do. And it always come back to the same reason: my son is the best and most important thing I've ever done - and I really don't want to screw it (him) up! So, a lot of thought and investigation went into the decision of if, when and where to send him to daycare.
OKAY: WE WERE TOLD THIS MORNING THAT THEY WOULD BE MAKING MONKEYS TODAY, BUT SO FAR, ALL I'VE SEEN IS PLAYING...WHEN DOES THE MONKEY-MAKING BEGIN?
When he was a year old, I felt he was just too young to go to daycare. He couldn't verbalize his wants, needs, or complaints. Plus, the whole sleeping thing: I did not believe he would be able to sleep as well away from home. Some of this is likely just my own neurotic perception, but a lot is real: he just has a hard time shutting down when it's time to sleep, and is a really light sleeper to boot - he comes by that honestly: just like his momma! There was my fear of illness: I obviously know he is going to get sick, that we all do, that it is normal. But I felt if I could protect him when he was little, he'd be bigger and stronger and better able to fight things off when he did get sick, he could better communicate what was wrong and what he needed, and there are more safe drug options to treat his symptoms when he was older!
I'm getting off-topic, but when I talk about illness prevention, people often make comments about me keeping him in a bubble and the like. So I feel the need to clarify: I'm neurotic, but I'm not CRAZY. We go out in public, he eats food off the floor, he licks the cart handle at Walmart, he rolls around on the floor with dogs (and visits the dog park, too), and plays with horse manure at the stable. I think the grossest thing he ever did was maybe when he LICKED to glass door at the doctor's office! :s Anyhow, you get the point, right? I didn't have him quarantined, but I liked the idea of limiting his exposure to sick kid germs while at home. And, let me say: IT WORKED. He has been the healthiest kid in the world (partly due to breastfeeding, of course ;)). He made it through two years of life with only two mild colds and one ear infection to sully his record of perfect health - any mommi out there will be forced to recognize that as a pretty mean feat!
Okay, back to childcare selection. I'm going to devote another entire post to nannies, but suffice it to say: they have many advantages; a good nanny makes your life WAY, WAY easier - but a bad nanny makes it so much worse! And, they are not very cost effective. And keeping your child at home with a one on one care provider limits social development through interaction with other children, so...I felt it was appropriate (for MY son) to enter into some sort of daycare provider after the age of two. Oh - also, I was moving to a suburb that had no public transportation, and it seems A LOT of nannies do not have cars.
Because he had been at home up until this point, I believed a home daycare might be the best idea for him. I spoke with three different home daycare providers, after getting recommendations for my area online. All three women were delightful and very reassuring of all my concerns, and none of them said I was crazy :) They were happy to follow my sleep regimen for Avery as best they could, and claimed to serve healthy meals with limited snacking. Where I started to have a change of heart, however, was when I asked about educational activities. One replied, "Well...we colour..." :s Another fared better with, "We do numbers and reading, " until she added, "Oh - and cartoons - they learn from cartoons, too." [insert sound of my hand hitting my head here] I will give you that some cartoons are better than others, and that many do strive to teach certain elements and skills. I do let my son watch TV, and favour shows like Handy Manny (manners and citizenship) and Special Agent Oso (life skills) - oh, and Waybaloo - JUST KIDDING! Have you seen that shit?? Friggin' creepy and messed up, if you ask me... I guess from being a teacher, I'm a bit of an education snob, and I think it's really important, even if informal at this age. Anyhow, I went ahead and visited one, and it was a lovely home, run by a women I'd definitely love to be friends with! But her own son pushed mine twice in the short time we were there (his mom did address it), and it got me thinking about whether it was really possible to treat all the children in your home daycare program equally, if one was your own (which they usually are - I think being able to stay home with their own child is a big reason a lot of home daycare providers decide to do that, but that's just my observation), and I acknowledged that it must be difficult for the child whose home and whose mommy he is sharing, too. Also, this home had a gigantic TV - the biggest I've ever seen in a private residence - as the focal point of the living room, and the woman boasted about having the newest Cars video. It seemed to me that home daycares are a little more like babysitting and a little less like school - which is fine for some people, but it was then that I realized that I was apparently really looking for a Nursery School.
Still undecided, I looked into any daycare centres/nursery schools I could find between my home and work. I discounted those near my work simply because it's a bit of a sketchy neighbourhood, and I can admit that I may also be a neighbourhood snob. (To be fair, it is an interesting area, in that there are many very nice streets with homes that show pride of ownership and are occupied by lovely individuals and families...but then you turn a corner and you're in some scary, scary territory. Obviously, it was the scary territory I was reluctant to send my son into). I crossed several others off the list because of typos or grammatical errors on their websites. Fine, whatever: I'm an editing snob, too. (Someone is totally going to scour this blog and point out every imperfection now, aren't they?! Do it. For real. Because any errors will bother me far more than your pointing them out will, and at least it will give me the opportunity to correct them! :P)
Finally, I found one worth checking out. I visited and met with the owner. It smelled of tea tree oil: points for cleanliness and also for the use of natural products over harsher chemicals ;) None of the kids were crying, and they were cute (snob!). There were educational materials featured on the walls and there was a theme posted for each week, along with corresponding learning activities - KA-CHING! The owner was Italian and said she insisted on every meal being homemade, right down to the pasta sauce - that sounded healthy! They had licensed Educational Assistants in every room, and I liked the adult-child ratios. She reassured me about my sleep-concerns. And she was willing to accommodate my teacher schedule by letting me go down to only two days per week in the summer, in the interest of holding a spot for the following school year. Oh - and let's not forget the cameras!
OH, EFF! I DID FORGET THE CAMERAS AND IN THE TIME I WASN'T STALKING MY CHILD AT DAYCARE, THEY STARTED NAPTIME EARLY AND THE LIGHTS ARE OUT, AND I CAN'T MAKE OUT WHICH DARK BLOB IS MINE!!! THIS IS WHAT I WAS MOST STRESSED ABOUT! THIS IS WHAT I MOST WANTED TO SEE! [REASON KICKING IN: MAYBE THIS IS A GOOD THING...I DID SAY I'D USE THIS BABY-FREE TIME TO BE PRODUCTIVE AROUND THE HOUSE, AND SITTING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER, WATCHING HIM EVERY THREE MINUTES ISN'T REALLY BEING PRODUCTIVE...] OOH: THERE IS MOTION IN ONE CORNER THAT LOOKS LIKE BACK-RUBBING - I BET THAT'S MINE; HE WILL NEED BACK-RUBBING. YEP, IT'S DEFINITELY BACK-RUBBING... WAIT - ARE THEY WEARING THEIR SHOES??? WHO CAN SLEEP WITH THEIR SHOES ON?? DEEP BREATHS, DEEP BREATHS...
The live video feed requires a login, and limits parents to three-minute viewings at a time...but you can just log right back in after thee minutes! :D
Okay, I was a bit insane, I'll admit. But know what? Every time I checked on him via those cameras, he was playing! I ended up turning the computer off and catching a bit of a nap myself (only because I was unable to tell which kid was mine, and they all seemed to be pretty still anyway, which was a good sign...), and when I logged back on, he was just getting up - he had been the one who got out of bed and started pushing his cot around the floor and into other kids' cots. But he had also been the one who eventually did settle, and sleep for an hour and a half :D SUCCESS! My greatest fear: conquered! :D And now he is the kid who is waking up, sitting for a while, then jumping up and down on his cot! <3
At the end of the day, he was also the kid who came running up to me with a big smile on his face, telling me he was "PLAYIN'!", and running back to play with his friends and the daycare toys. He was the kid who showed me the paper monkey with gold sparkles he made for me.
On day two (I'm ending him two days a week until the end of the month, so he has time to adjust before starting full time in September. Also, I started writing this post on day one, but it is now three days later and I'm just getting it done.), he was the kid who was happy enough when I left him, had some ups and downs, but was able to get through the, throughout the day, settled into his nap in only a few minutes this time, made me a Bingo-dabbered kangaroo, and took me half an hour to get out of there, because he didn't want to leave! :) So...I guess, after all my fears and stress, I made the right decision for him. I think he's going to be just fine. I also think he's suddenly a lot more verbally communicative (he was good before, but he seems braver and bolder now), AND...while he has not used the potty AT daycare yet, he peed on it at home for the first time that first night! And now, just three days later, he pees on it every time we ask him to!
Anyhow, that is how I made my decision. I'd be interested in hearing about other choices that have worked out for you, what crazy fears you might have had with regard to child care, and whether your child had a transitional period at the start or not! And I should add, for anyone concerned, that in just the two days he has attended daycare, I have dramatically reduced the amount of time I spent being a daycare voyeur :D I bet next week I'll only virtually check in maybe TWENTY time or something... ;) :P
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