Where the Pee Pee Goes

This post is actually the result of a request!  My very first request!  Of course, said request was made via facebook, and not a comment on the blog...why do so few people comment ON the blog??  I get lots of feedback via private message and facebook, but can't seem to crack you guys into commenting HERE...  Such a mystery!  But anyway, I am happy for feedback through any medium, and was excited about this request.  A friend said she was waiting for a post on potty training, as she was stumped on the issue with her own son, of a similar age.

Well...I am certainly no authority on the subject - but then again, I'm no authority on any of the subjects I write about here, so no matter ;)  When people ask me if my son is potty trained, I give them a percentage:  he's about 80% potty trained.  We are potty trainING.

Here is what little advice I can offer:

My son is almost always naked.  We started "Naked Time" when he was about a year, because that's when he got the uric acid burns from SOMEONE leaving him in a wet diaper for far too long.  I treated his sore bum with warm baking soda baths, followed by lots of air time, so that the area was clean and dry before another diaper went on.  I think that leaving him naked so much of the time taught him a bit of control.  He rarely peed on the floor - and even less frequently POOed on the floor!  He knows that peepee does not go on the floor.

After he'd been naked for a while, I'd know he hadn't peed for at least that long, either, so I started strategically putting him on his potty (we chose a small, white and green, potty slash stepstool model to start with) when I knew there was the best chance he'd have to go.  This went on for months, with no success.  But I figured, just getting him to feel comfortable on the potty was a step in the right direction, so we read books and ate Cheerios while sitting there.

I planned to not make a big deal if he didn't go, but throw a big celebration if ever he did.  And it finally happened!  After months of trying, he finally let a few drops of pee out into the potty while my mom was watching him!  She held the celebration, and saved the pee in said potty for me to gush over later (no pun intended).  I was sure that once he had gone the first time, it would come easier after that.

Nope!  Several more months when by without a repeat performance.  But finally, it happened again.  I had been spending 20 minutes at a time, entertaining him while he sat on the potty, waiting for pee, and what I learned was that it's more about timing than the amount of time spent on the potty.  If he doesn't go right away, it's not going to happen.  If he has to go, he'll pee as soon as he sits down.  This revelation saved us lots of time and frustration.

And after that, he did start peeing almost every time I put him on the potty.  I was giving him a chocolate rosebud as a reward each time this happened, but this led to others issues :s  He started wanting to "try" to pee all the time, but it was only to get the treat.  If I denied him said treat, a big rage attack would ensue (this was also right around the time his classic Terrible Two tantrums began anyway), and I started to wonder if the caffeine from the chocolate was causing them.  It probably wasn't, but I'm like that, so I switched to organic yogourt-covered raisins instead :)  Problem solved!  Coincidence?  I don't know.

As a next step, we have dabbled a bit with going without a diaper, and I just ask the little guy if he needs to go peepee on the potty every 10 minutes or so, and remind him: "Remember you have no diapey on, so you have to tell Mommi when you have to pee".  For the most part, it has been successful, and when diaperless, he will even tell me when he has to pee, and then off we go to the potty :D

But we are also stumped on two points.

The first is just consistency.  I am not home with him every hour of every day, and at daycare, he wears a diaper.  They put him on the potty every 2 hours when they change his diaper, but if he doesn't go in the 30 seconds they allot, then he doesn't go at all.  So far, he has gone peepee on the potty at daycare exactly twice in 4 months.  There is a lack of consistency when he goes to his dad's, as well.  Last time I asked Daddi, he told me he has not used the potty at his house.  I asked if he even tried, and that ended any sort of honest communication we may have been capable of :s  So now, I don't ask, and consequently, don't know if he's bothering to try to get our son to use the potty there or not.  This is obviously problematic, but if we had been able to respectfully communicate and see eye to eye on what's best for our son in the first place, we might still be married!

So, I've been waiting for the "right time" to provide the little guy with some of the missing diaperless consistency, and I think I'll get my chance over Christmas holidays.  I'll be home with Avery for almost 2 weeks straight, and plan to just not put a diaper on him, and ask him constantly if he needs to go peepee for the duration of those 2 weeks.  With 2 exceptions, but I'll get there in a minute.  After Christmas break, I'll start sending him to daycare with only one diaper for naptime, and about 6 changes of clothes in case of accidents :)

The other point I'm stumped on is my son's absolute refusal to poopoo on the potty.  Or at daycare.  He just won't do it; he holds it in!  He will say, "Uh oh!  Poopoo!  Diapey on, Mama!"  And I ask him why don't we try to do a poopoo on the potty, but he either says no, or we try, but nothing happens.  He tries!  He knows how to "push" and will TOOT on the potty...but no poopoo.  If not given a diapered opportunity to poop, he will hold it in for days at a time, and I know that can't be good.  My ex-nephew got a distended bowel from holding in his poop!

Oddly, he has no aversion to pooping in many public places.  There is a clothing store by our cottage that we would visit every day, every time without fail, Avery would hide behind a rack of clothing and tell us he was "not poopin'".  That's how we know he is, in fact, pooping.  Once we stopped at a convenience store on a road trip, and he held an entire aisle hostage, yelling "NOT POOPIN"" if anyone tried to go down that aisle.  He likes to poop in closets, and once used the one in a model home, announcing to me, but also to another family going through, "Avewy (he struggles with Rs) do a big MAN poopoo, Mama!"  We often find him behind the couch or behind the curtains in the living room, "not poopin'".  And if the ideal spot doesn't pressent itself, he's not opposed to simply stopping in the middle of a public place, covering his face, and going to town - not poopin', of course.  As parents, we are supposed to teach our children, but there are a number of behaviours we pick up from them, as well, and Justin now frequently tells me when he is not farting... :s

But getting back on track, my revised plan is to has him go diaperless all day, but give him an opportunity to poop in a diaper after dinner, before bedtime.  The other exception is nighttime.  I will still put him in a diaper at bedtime - mostly because I am such a sleep Nazi, I don't want to start getting up in the night for potty trips!  Selfish, I know, but furthermore, my son does not yet wake up when he has to pee, nor does he stay dry all night, so I kind of think it might be too soon to try nighttime potty training anyway.

I'm not really sure how I'll get him to start going poopoo in the potty :s  But I sort of feel like, just like the peepeeing, it will just happen one day.  He's only 2 years and 5 months, and I'm told boys often take longer to become fully potty trained...sigh.  ;)

What do you other Mommis think?  I'd love any advice you might be able to offer, as well as to hear your own potty training tales!