Because Kids Eat Stuff and Scrotums Bleed A Lot

Since babies and children are prone to eating non-food items, someone created Telehealth Ontario.  Before I go on, save this number in your cell phone - or write it down somewhere if you haven't joined the age of technology (weird :s): 1 866 797 0000.  I'm pretty sure other provinces (and states) have similar services, but you're going to have to look those numbers up yourself - hey, maybe comment on this post and share that info if you come across it!  But anyhow, there are many reasons to call Telehealth, not all of them eating-related, but I would bet a lot of money on the fact that mommis make more of said calls to Telehealth than any other group, because mommis have kids, and kids eat stuff.

This morning, my 2 1/2 year old ate one of my prenatal vitamins.  I know what you're thinking: who leaves a toddler unattended with drugs?  But it's not like I had a bowl of them out on the coffee table.  They were in a closed cardboard box, sealed in a blister pack, on the second shelf of our kitchen cabinet uppers!  But toddlers are very resourceful, and you'd be amazed at what they can accomplish in the amount of time it takes you to fill a bowl of dog food (um, for the dog...not for the toddler - though he DOES enjoy kibble...but that is another post altogether).  Anyhow, I was pretty sure there wasn't any harm in that - they're just vitamins, afterall - but I decided to call Telehealth on my way to work, just to be safe.

Telehealth is a free service.  An operator takes your name and contact information, and records the nature of your call, and then has a Registered Nurse call you back about the issue.  The operators are trained to redirect calls that are of an urgent nature.  You don't need to have your healthcard with you - or even to have a health card at all.  What you DO need to have with you, however, is the toddler you're calling about.  Even though he had no symptoms, they won't assess your condition unless you are able to report on symptoms at that very moment.  So, back to the daycare I drove.  I called a coworker to tell her I'd be late for work - she kindly offered to cover my class.

The Telehealth nurse told me that most of the vitamins in a prenatal combo are water soluble, and therefore harmless, because the child will simply pee out any excess.  But vitamin A and iron can be problematic, and since my prenatal vitamin is prescription strength (PregVit 5), she referred me to Poison Control.  THAT was kind of scary!  The Poison Control worker worked out how much vitamin A and iron my son could safely ingest, based on his weight: 300 000 IU of vitamin A, and 420mg of iron.  I didn't have the product packaging with me, so had to call the pharmacy, but was relieved to discover that the one pill my son took only contained 700 IU of vitamin A and 35mg of iron - phew!  It was also good that I was able to say with certainty that he only took one pill, since they were in the blister pack, and I could count how many were left.

But that's what Telehealth does - provides reassurance to freaked out mommis!  I have called a number of times, and my concern has never been warranted, luckily - but if it was, they'd help me get the help I needed ASAP.

Here are some other reasons one might call Telehealth...

Sometimes babies eat poop.  Gross, I know.  But it happens!  I don't remember how old my little guy was - maybe a few months - but during a particularly messy diaper change, he got his little hand down there, and into his mouth faster than I could stop him!  I called Telehealth.  It was embarrassing, but it's an anonymous service, so that's a relief ;)  I remember them asking me to repeat myself, "Your son ate what, ma'am?"  And then, "And was the feces (I said poop, they were much more professional) his own?"  Yes!!  What was she thinking??  But apparently there was reason to ask: I learned it is actually okay to eat your own feces, because it has bacteria that has already passed through your digestive system, and is therefore already present, whereas it is NOT okay to eat someone else's feces, and introduce new bacteria to your GI tract.  You're making a mental note, aren't you?

Also, if your cat (or your partner's cat - because what NORMAL person owns a cat? Just kidding ;)) catches a claw through someone's scrotum, tearing a sizable hole in it, and you're not sure if he needs a Tetanus shot (cat OR scrotum owner) or stitches, you can call Telehealth to ask.  They will be there to reassure you.  Incidentally, if you are able to stop the bleeding and effectively disinfect the wound (I suggest getting the victim to hold his torn scrotum over the toilet, while you pour peroxide over it repeatedly), and get the skin to come together to heal...and then just watch for infection over the next few days, you probably do not need to go for stitches or a shot.  But have you ever tried bandaging someone's scrotum??  Tough business.  If you manage it, I recommend securing the area in the tightest available underwear for the night.

That is advice for everyone, not just mommis.  I'd probably take my son right to emergency (and later take the cat right to the vet's for humane euthanasia) if such a thing occurred...but if it happens to an adult victim...I am less concerned.  Still, call Telehealth!

Oh, and you can also call Telehealth for virus-like symptoms or if you're concerned about your child's fever...normal stuff!

Anyhow: CALL TELEHEALTH.  Those are my words of wisdom for today :)

Anyone else ever have to call Telehealth for unusual reasons?  Anyone have info on similar services in other areas?  Please share!