Warning:

Today's post(s) may contain graphic (some might say "intimate") descriptions of events (and anatomy), and may not be suitable for all readers. Some things, once known, cannot be un-known ;P

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Friday 13 April 2012

Natural Birth (and other ) B!tches

There are some benefits to choosing natural childbirth, that is for sure.  With my first baby, I wanted to try for a natural birth, but was very clear with my midwife that I reserved the right to have an epidural, should I choose one.  That's because they'd told me in prenatal classes that if you tell your midwife that you want to do it naturally, they will try delay tactics and such if you do then ask for an epidural, thinking they are helping you achieve your real goal of a natural birth.  Nope.  If I wanted that epidural, I wanted that epidural!

And I did.  I went almost all the way without one, but things were getting intense and when the midwife said it would probably "only" be a "couple more hours", I decided that was too much.  As it turned out, we were less than an hour away from my son being born.  Had I known that, I could have lasted without an epidural - but that's the thing: you just don't know.

I do sort of wish I hadn't had the epidural, but not for the purpose of martyrdom or knighthood.  My baby's heart rate started dropping as soon as I'd had it, which was obviously concerning.  With the pain relief, I felt as though I could have just gone to sleep for a bit, and waited to be woken when it was time to push.  But given the baby's distress, that was not to be: the next half hour or so was spent rolling me around into various positions to try to alleviate the stress he was feeling and increase his heart rate.  They called a respiratory therapist, who snatched the baby away as soon as he was out of me.  It was only for a moment; as it turned out, my little guy was perfectly fine and it was only a precautionary measure (point in favour of having a hospital birth, even though I had a midwife), but it was understandably alarming!  Perhaps the decreased heart rate was coincidental and had more to do with the compression on the baby as he moved through the birth canal, but lowered heart rate is one of the risks of having an epidural.  The other reason I somewhat regret it is, when you have an epidural, you usually have to also have a catheter to let your pee come out.  That in itself was nothing, but the catheter damaged my urethra, and I had urgent pee sensations for almost a year afterwards.  I have one friend who is sure she did not have a catheter when she had her epidural, but my midwife has assured my you need one, so I dunno.

For those reasons, I may try natural childbirth again this time around.  Also, my midwife is sure this labour will be very short (she's estimating 3 and a half hours), and I may not have time to have an epidural anyway :s  A short labour sounds good; not having at least the choice of an epidural does not.  But then again, there's no way of ever knowing how long these things will take.  Second labours are usually considerably shorter (my midwife says half the time) than first, some are significantly longer, some have complications, etcetera...  If I could be guaranteed a 3 hour labour, I'd commit to no drugs.  But as of right now, I'm not signing anything :P

I guess mommis have to make their own decisions, and also have an idea of WHY they are making them.  Personally, I dabble in things natural - but like a mixture of modern comforts, as well ;)  I have had horses, and been involved with breeding and birthing them, and I sort of figure: they do it naturally all the time, so why shouldn't I?  But I had no reason for being opposed to using drugs for pain relief, either.

This is what bothers me: mommis who think they deserve some sort of badge of honour or are superior to others for delivering their babies without epidurals.  It's not a measure of strength or valour, ladies - it's just a personal choice.  You are not a better person or mom for delivering your child naturally, nor are you smarter or better for choosing the relief modern medicine can offer.  It is what it is.  So get off your high horses and stop looking down on those of us who want an epidural!  To be fair, I should admonish the epidural-users who call natural childbirthers crazy - I have heard from a few of those, too.  I thought I was done this particular rant, but I have one other thing to add: worse than the mommis who chose natural childbirth acting like bitches are the mommis who didn't have epidurals simply because they didn't have time to acting all superior!  If the latter is you, you are not only a Natural Birth Bitch, you are also a Short Labour Bitch (see next paragraph).

Similarly, mommis will brag about the short duration of their labours.  I fully understand them being pleased if their labours were quick!  God, who wants to suffer for any longer than necessary?!  But if you are lucky enough to have a quick and easy delivery, free of complications or baby concerns, let's call a duck a duck: you got lucky!  Everyone will be jealous, but don't act like you earned it or anything.  Just count your blessings and move along :P

Another pet peeve of mine is when mommis are proud of the fact that they didn't tear or have episiotomies or anything.  Again, I'm envious of your recovery - I tore up the front and had a bilateral episiotomy (that means they cut me in two places) at the back, required many stitches, and suffered quite a bit while that all healed afterwards :s  But if you had a better experience, all you're really saying is you've got a big vagina - or rather, a stretchy one - and more accurately, a stretchy perineum!  Um, congratulations??

If you believe you are demi-goddesses because of the aforementioned reasons, then you must surely look down on women who don't have vaginal deliveries at all, right??  So my final point is: most women do not opt for c-sections, but rather, have them for medical reasons beyond their control.  This does not make them lower or lesser in any way.  'Nough said.

Bottom line, mommis?  Labour sucks, but we all get babies out of it - so stop judging others for their personal choices, whatever they may be (unless, of course, they are baseless, senseless, or harmful).  Want to share your labour experiences and reasons for why you chose to have or not have medical pain relief?

Tuesday 3 April 2012

Fat Armpits, "Just The Tip", and other Second Trimester Things

"This pregnancy is flying by!" I said, after the first trimester.  Well...not so much, now.  Other people keep telling me how fast it's gone, but it doesn't feel that way to me!  My Naturopath told me that if I didn't feel AMAZING in the second semester, something was wrong.  Well, then something was wrong!

Morning sickness was behind me, but I was still otherwise sick ALL THE TIME.  I swear, I was healthy for maybe 2 weeks total out of the first 7 months of  my pregnancy.  Cold after cold, a bout of some sort of gastro-intestinal virus, Pink Eye, a wicked sinus infection - I had it all!  The only two ailments I did NOT have were a yeast infection and a UTI - but due to some questionable medical advice (my midwife suspected a yeast infection at my pap smear, so had me do a disgusting 7-day treatment "just in case", only to have the test results come back negative...my Naturopath said leukocyte levels in my urine indicated a UTI, so had me drink shots of poison (okay, it tasted like poison and contained Cat's Claw - that constitutes a witch's brew, doesn't it?), only to be contradicted by an actual screening and my midwife, who pointed out that higher leukocyte levels are normal in pregnancy, and my urine actually showed zero bacteria), I experienced psychosomatic symptoms anyway!  I was so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!  I couldn't remember the last time I actually felt good, and desperation was setting in.

But Accidental Supermommi isn't super for nothing (self-proclaimed super, but who cares?), and did not give in.  I had heard about Intravenous Vitamin Therapy before, but the cost kept me from looking into it any further at that time.  Well, I was getting so desperate, I decided I didn't care about the cost, and wanted to try it.  My Naturopath recommended it, but didn't actually perform the treatment herself, so I looked up another one who did.  I also had this course of treatment approved by my midwife, but submitting a formula of the particular composition I would be given to her.  IV Vitamin Therapy is essentially having huge amounts of vitamins injected directly into your blood stream.  One treatment, and I was hooked.  I felt like a heroin addict, both because of the track marks on my arms (okay, I didn't get track marks - just little dots at the injection site), and because of the euphoria I'd experience shortly after the I got my fix (fine, fine - it wasn't so much euphoria as it was an energy boost, but that sounds way more boring).  The needle hurt.  And I couldn't watch it going in without feeling light headed.  But that was only for a minute at the beginning.  The doctor (ND) quickly adjusted the flow to the most efficient yet still comfortable speed, and added sodium carbo...something or other to combat the burning sensation high acidity levels created.  Then I'd just sit there and read or text or whatever for an hour, while I got fuelled up with 20 times the amount of vitamin C and various B-vitamins (and other stuff, but those two, mostly) a person is capable of absorbing through the digestive tract.  I did this once a week for 4 weeks.  After the very first treatment, I felt increased energy and decreased nasal congestion.  But the best thing I felt was hope - hope that this might actually work, that I might actually feel good again.!  I still got sick - twice, in fact - while undergoing treatment.  But I got 2 regular viruses that ran their courses like they would in a normal person, as opposed to the seriously immuno-compromised person I had become.  And I've been just fine every since!  I look back and kick myself for not trying IV Vitamin Therapy 7 months earlier, and actually enjoying more of my pregnancy!  It was like my body just got so run down, it was unable to recover, and this treatment helped me kick that bad stuff and get my immune system back to a normal functioning level again.  I highly recommend it to anyone who's been suffering chronic illness, fatigue, mood disorders, etcetera - not just pregnant women - and new mommis, too.  A trained Naturopathic Doctor can create a composition that is safe for pregnant and breastfeeding women, and I can definitely see it helping with postpartum symptoms, like fatigue or depression.

Moving on, in my first trimester, I was concerned about the size of my belly (and ass), because I started to show much earlier than I had with my first pregnancy.  But I'm not bigger - in fact, possibly a little smaller - than I was at this point in my first pregnancy now.  I guess I kind of expanded rapidly, but then plateaued, and stayed the same size for a while.  I'm still getting compliments on how I'm "all baby", and not much larger anywhere else (except for from this one lady at work - who's never had children, might I add - who told me I "really looked pregnant, all of a sudden", and when I suggested it might just be the top I was wearing that day, clarified, "no - you can really see it in your face!" - okay, seriously, lady?  No one wants to be told their FACE looks pregnant - that's not where we carry our babies!  Ugh.).  However...I'm not confident I'm safe just yet.  I believe I stayed reasonably un-fat for most of my first pregnancy, too, but photos taken at my baby shower, which was in the last month, I think, indicate a definite ballooning effect :s  I did plump up in my face, my arms, my FEET...towards the end, so that still might be just around the corner for me this time. :(

Skin-wise, I'm getting off much easier this time around.  I haven't used anything for acne since the first month to so, and my skin might not be airbrushed perfection, but it's pretty good!  I'm not sure if my "mask" is darkening or not.  It never completely went away, so it's unclear as to whether what I'm seeing is just the same old pigmentation or something new.  It's in check, though ;)  And I'm crazy-diligent about sunscreen, especially now that the weather is getting nicer.  I have the tiniest linea nigra - MUCH less than the first time around, which I'm pleased about.  And no stretch marks yet :D  I've taken a mirror and looked under my belly.  I didn't notice any the first time around until afterwards, and then found a few little ones that are really quite thin and silvery - down low on the belly and on my hips - not a big deal.

Emotionally, I've been pretty stable, I think.  I don't remember being a mess the first time either.

I pee all the time, and it affects my sleep.  The baby feels much lower much sooner this time, and sometimes I will have just peed, but the baby will suddenly shift and swiftly attack my bladder, making me have to go urgently again.  He often positions himself so that eating and breathing are hard work, too :s  And I've had difficulty finding pants that are comfortable - the maternity jeans I wore right until the end of my first pregnancy, when I know I was bigger than I am this point, are painful down low, and make me worry I'm squishing the baby's head with them.  So, I pretty much live in leggings.

Everything hurts more than I remember it.  My belly is very tender to the touch, which my midwife says is common with second pregnancies, because your muscles and tissue have kind of given up and don't protect you like they did the first time around :(  The only thing I've found better this time (physically) is that, since he seems to be lower inside me, he doesn't kick me inside the ribcage as often.  Like my first, though, this one is shy, and will be putting on the biggest kick boxing demonstration, but will freeze and retreat the moment he hears me tell anyone else to look.

Oh, the purple polkadots...  Yeah, they're back :s  In fact, I have three new ones.  I mentioned them to my midwife and she told me what I already knew: they're sort of like varicose veins, and I should consider myself lucky to just have little dots, because she's had patients who have them so bad they look like FINGERS sticking out down there!!!  (Feel free to barf now :s)  But I haven't noticed any worsening of spider veins or anything like that.

Here's something else I'm apparently lucky about...a few months ago, my armpits were really irritated, and I noticed a deep crease forming in them.  I had fat armpits!  Which, I suppose if you're going to get fat anywhere, it may as well be your armpits.  Waxing rather than shaving helped reduce the irritation.  But when I mentioned that to my midwife, she said it's also common to get fat armpits, because the milk ducts reach back that far, and that some women actually LACTATE from their pits!!!  OMG, thank the Lord I'm not doing that.

We had a final ultrasound at 28 weeks, which is later than usual, but it was because, at my 20 week ultrasound, I had a low-lying placenta.  That means that it was situated closer to the cervix than is ideal.  This was why we were put on "just the tip" restriction. What is that, you ask?  Just The Tip is a game my friends and I liked to play when we were young and reckless...it's when you don't fully have sex; you just - wait, this is not that kind of blog!  Use your imaginations!  But anyhow, I'm trying to be serious here...  Because of the position of my placenta, we were advised to avoid sex for the 8 weeks before the confirming ultrasound - or at least "not engage in vigorous or deep penetration" :s  Where's the fun in that???  Imagine Justin's reaction when we got that news :P  It first, it was bad news for me, too, but several of my other mommi friends were jealous, having reached the point in their pregnancies where sex was uncomfortable and therefore undesirable anyway, and I wasn't far behind them :(  But moving on, we had the 28-week ultrasound and all was well - my placenta had moved upwards and nicely out of the way of my cervix.  Just The Tip restriction lifted!  (updated reaction: "Greeeat" :()  It was kind of cool, but freaky to see the baby that far along.  At one point, he looked right at the "camera" and opened his eyes, and we could see the iris and pupil and everything.  He was sucking his thumb and yawning, behaving very much like a real live person!  I am anti-3D Ultrasound, so that is as close as I'll get to seeing this guy before he makes his debit in the world.

I'm 33 weeks pregnant as I write this, and I'm starting to infringe on third trimester material, so I think I'll quit here and save that for another day.  There you have it: second trimester in a nutshell.  Questions, anyone?