I've gotten ahead of myself now, with all this sex talk, and I've skipped over a really important event - the dreaded third night.
As I've said before, I had a pretty easy labour, my baby was big and healthy...and I wanted to go home! So, against the advice of one of the nurses at the hospital (we hadn't perfected the "latch" for breastfeeding just yet, but were doing fine, nonetheless), I left for home with my newborn the very next day after giving birth.
BIG MISTAKE.
My sleepy little angel morphed into something sent from the Devil on that third night, and I was at home, without medical support. He cried. He didn't sleep. I didn't sleep.
He had tricked me during those first two days by waking every couple hours to eat, then drifting back to sleep, done! No more. I had read books on babies, baby feeding, baby scheduling...and was under the impression that he shouldn't need to eat more frequently than every 3 hours. I fed him more often than that anyway, but was certain there had to be something else the matter. I changed his diaper, I took his temperature, I rocked him, bounced him, sang to him, swaddled him, pleaded with him, prayed...and nothing worked! I have to give his dad credit at that point, because he DID try to help me. He tried all of the above, too, but with equally poor results.
I called the maternity ward at the hospital for help - they told me it was normal and fine. I called Telehealth Ontario (GREAT service, by the way) - they asked me about his temperature and how many wet diapers, etcetera, but ultimately told me it was normal and fine.
In desperation (tears, sobbing, the works), I shoved a boob in his mouth...and he was quiet. And not because I was suffocating him, either! He really was that hungry! To hell with those books - my baby wanted to eat - my baby wanted to eat plenty and often. I swear he'd nurse every 20 minutes. And it was the ONLY thing that soothed him.
Now, apparently this third night drama is common and expected. A few days later, I started reading some of literature my midwives had given me in a little bag, and whaddyaknow? - there was a handout specifically on the third night. I'm not going to get all scientific on you, but I guess it's something to do with an increase in infant alertness and sensitivity, as well as the first of many growth spurts, where the baby really does need to nurse that often, in order to amp up his mother's milk supply. (Aside: I learned to identify growth spurts based on the soreness of mu nipples - and my kid was absolutely regular, and would hit them dead-on, every time: if he was due for one around 3 months, he'd start ON his 3-month birthday, etcetera) - man, I hated growth spurts! My boobs hated growth spurts.)
I know I'm not effectively conveying the horror of that night...you'll see, when you get there, I guess... My baby was always dead-on with these milestones, but that is likely because he has born a few days past his due date. If yours was early, she probably won't be as exact - but after a few have passed, I bet you'll be able to track them, adjusting slightly in one direction or another based on development and age past 40 weeks.
The third night was monumental, though, because it really defined the sleep deprivation that would become the story of my life for the next four months.
Anyone else experience the dreaded third night? Were you prepared? Did you cry, too?
With Abby it was her second night, but she was born at like 5am so maybe that's why it was day two. I remember crying and falling asleep in the chair because the stupid nurses freaked when they found me in bed with her lying beside me, nursing while i tried to sleep/rest. plus, no single rooms were available and they were giving me a hard time about anth being there but he wasnt about to leave with me in that state- over my dead body. That is how I coped, she slept in my bed beside me nursing at every whim....it was the best way for me to sleep. I was more prepared with Madeline and just began the routine of her nursing while I laid down for nighttime feedings. I remember Madeline being much easier to handle, and overall she is easier going than Abigail which Im sure is part of it, but I do attribute a lot of that to me...I was less nervous, more experienced and things were easier. I hope it's the same for you Ashley! :)
ReplyDeletePs in case you read this and think my husband is great, I think I should also share the whole truth.....Abby was born at 5:18am on may 23rd. I was induced at 8am on may 22nd. I had to push on at least three occasions (possibly more but it's hard to remember, and frankly I don't want to) and thten stop because the doctor was called away each time on an emergency birth- 13 that night with one doctor. As a result of all of this pushing and stopping the inducing drug and the anti-inducing drug had to be administered a number of times. It was a rough day/ night. After my ordeal, (and not having an epidural that certainly did not take the pain away for the first 5 hours) I was pretty exhausted...to say the least. Then about 15 sets of visitors arrived that day to meet Abby (first grandchild on each side). That afternoon my husband decided to go home for a nap telling me he was exhausted. I said yeah, me too, and he told me 'you don't understand'!!! I was like, 'what do you mean I don't understand?' and then he tried to argue his point further. Clearly he is a moron and although he does show glimpses of compassion and understanding and helpfulness here and there, I will never ever forget his comment. I'm a lucky girl! ;)
You were doing very well until the man hater in you reared its ugly head, very sad indeed.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. How transparent. This comment, the message I received from you a few weeks ago, and your ongoing behavior towards your son unfortunately portray that you are the one who is, 'very sad indeed'.
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