Revelations: There are NOT Two Types of Parents, Afterall

I have spent the last 2 years of my life trying to promote healthy sleep habits in my son.  I firmly believe that being well-rested is the springboard for so many other things, and I still hold true to that idea.  But last night, I had a major revelation...

I used to sit through conversations between other mommis at lunchtime at work, listening to them talking about how their kids slept in their beds with them, how it was getting crowded, how one kept kicking them in the back, how they had to alternate taking one to the bathroom, then the other, etcetera.  I "sat", and I "listened", but I didn't participate - I was trying to be nice!  I felt that all I could add to the conversation would be criticism, and knew enough to keep that to myself ;)  I must even admit to feeling rather smug while I listened, mentally patting myself on the back for not being one of those mommis.

I believed there were two kinds of parents in this world: those who let their kids sleep in their beds, and those who practiced better sleep habits and taught their kids independence and self-soothing and had them sleep in their own beds (cribs, whatever).  But this morning, I must apologize to those mommis, for ever thinking I was better or above them, for my smugness, for thinking they were indulgent parents.  This morning, I realize that those mommis didn't choose to have their kids in their beds - they didn't choose to have disrupted sleep for years on end...they were driven to it, in desperation!  At least, that's what happened to me :(

As you may have read, sleep struggles are nothing new to my son and I: he has been on a month-long, early-waking streak; naptimes have always been a bit hit or miss.  But bedtime was one thing I used to be able to count on.  He would go to bed and go to sleep at night with no problem, every time.  Until three nights ago.  On that evening, his stepdad was doing the bedtime routine, and all started our well...he gave him his bedtime bottle while reading the two books we read every night, he had one Sleepy in hand, another waiting for him on his mattress, his noise machine was on, his sun clock was set, a song had been sing, and into bed he went.  For about 15 seconds.  Then OUT of bed he got (damn the move to a toddler bed, damnit!), tears starting.  Stepdaddy ("Jussie") calmly walked him back in - twice - but on the second return, my son wailed, "Tuck you in, Jussie!"  Superdad that he is (this is not sarcastic - he really is!), he did forget one crucial step: the tuck in.  So, he tucked the little guy in, and off the dreamland he went!

We thought that was an isolated incident, due only to the failure to tuck in - but no.  Two nights later, it happened again.  This time, I was on bedtime duty, and I didn't forget a step!  This time, the devil-child bargained with me: "Little more songs, Mama, then go to sleep!"  Fine.  Two more songs and into bed.  Then out of bed.  I walked him back to bed.  He got out of bed.  I told him Mommi woudl come back if he got into bed, but would NOT come back if he didn't go to bed.  I locked the gate at the top of the stairs and went downstairs.  He stood at the gate and first propositioned: "Mommyyyyy, where arrre youuuu?", then progressed to heartbroken sobbing.  Well, Mommi is a liar, and Mommi went back up to him after 15 minutes or so, despite swearing she wouldn't if he didn't get back in bed :(  This time, I sat on the floor next to his bed and rubbed his back, hoping he would fall asleep.  I thought he did and tried to sneak out.  Nope!  Out of bed.

I went downstairs and had a meltdown on the couch.  Luckily, "Jussie" came home then and rescued us both.  He did the rubbing-back thing, but with more perseverance than me.  Thirty minutes of floor-sitting and back-rubbing later, he BBMed me to turn all the lights out in the house: he was going to attempt an escape.  And it worked!  No child came out of that room :D  Until 4:11am :( :( :( :( :(

And that is when it happened; that is when two years' worth of resolve went out the window and I had the revelation: there are not two types of parents; we are all just slaves to our children's needs/wants/whims.  Some children don't test their parents as much or as early as others, some parents might hold onto their resolve for longer than others...but we all break, and they all win - eventually.

And so, other mommis, today I join your ranks.  Please forgive my previous smugness.  I'm going to need to join in on those bed-sharing-woe conversations now :(  I think this "phase" might be a long-lasting one!

What's your policy on bed-sharing?  Are you a bed-sharing survivor?  How did it impact your life - and for HOW LONG?? :S  Hope-inspiring stories much needed; commiserating ones equally welcome! ;)